:)stories.

2009-11-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

Well, what else can i say ?
All this is just the past. Its the end, and this blog is dying soon.
Meet me up at my new blog (:
A new life and the past is gone :D

www.jus-theupsandown.blogspot.com

2009-11-05T23:02:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world, where they can be alone
Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me? I'm reaching out for you

I'm just so fucking depressed, I just can't seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump, but I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumps, fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up, in order for me to pick the logic back up
I don't know how or why or when, I ended up in this position I'm in
I'm starting to feel distant again, so I decided just to pick this pen
Up and try to make an attempt to vent, but I just can't admit, or come to grips

And I know some shit's so hard to swallow, but I just can't sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow, but I know one fact: I'll be one tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow, but you'd have to walk a thousand miles...
In my shoes, just to see, what it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside each others' minds
Just to see, what we'd find, look at shit through each others' eyes

I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humor, everything's so tense and gloom
I'm not looking for extra attention, I just wanna blend in with the rest of the room
I just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit down, listen to the tale I'm about to tell
Nobody asked for life to deal us, with these bullshit hands we're dealt
We gotta take these cards ourselves, and flip them, don't expect no help
Now I could of either, just sat on my ass and pissed and moaned
Or take this situation in which I'm placed in, and get up and get my own

I can't describe how I feel right now. Maybe what's up there would help.
I want to be a better person, thats all.

2009-11-04T07:09:00.001-08:00

Its my 420 posts (: Okay, Qeen bangge .

I'm back from lepak-ing. Everyday lepak. Haiyoh, naek mendak sioo. Actually, I had no plans for today. Well, I woke up late coz no one disturbed me (: Went out and watched 2 movies straight. I start bathing at 3pm. I think if Khabir & Leena didn't want to come I won't bathe till evening. Haha. After bathing and whatever, went out and hang out at 543. Three of us were being so crazy sakk. Had a fun time at that moment (:

After which, me & Leena went to Leena's house. Read a book titled Only Mine, forgot who's the author. But its a nice story though. Then, played the computer for awhile till Mami's home. Leena told Mami about my pitiful leg and she gave me a wonderful massage! Sedap sakk kaki kena urut. Haha. My leg isn't that itchy now but it is still itchy here and there.

Around 7.15pm, went to Inter and meet Santi. Miss her loads! We had LJS for dinner. Then went around to search for tempat lepak. Jauh sak kiter pergi. Haha, at last found the perfect placed. Talked, confessed, gossip and everything that girls do. Head home at 9.20pm. Done =.='

Ohh, last thing. I hate curry.

2009-11-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

Trip to ....

Singapore Flyer! :D

Its the day yoo :) Like finally, I had my feet to Singapore Flyer. Huahua :D It was a last minute plan okey, friends? So, sorry if I didn't invite you all because it is really a last minute thing! Nevermind, there's always another day. So letme tell ya what happened today.

Khabir woke me up. Cb, I wanna longer sleep time siol but then kena kacau :( After he called, went back to sleep even though Mum was screaming her lungs out so I'm awake and get my sexy body of the bed. Phone rang the tone Sexy Bitch by Akon and that means I had a message. Another disturbance. Alermak, Astro Boy text me. Apologising that he fall asleep yesterday therefore didn't reply my message. See larh, Astro Boy can ahh like that ?

After his message, I decided that I should get up and get some bitex. Had breakfast and like usual, Jebat will be there disturbing me. Get a bath right after eating and after bathing, Khabir rang my house. Budak tuh kan, sekejapkejap call aku tao. He asked me out and I said okay. I thought of going Flyer because I watched the movie Sewa yesterday and they went Flyer. Plus, sister said there is a promotion.

Checked the internet and they said no promotions during school holidays. Saket hati :( But we still went out. When we're out, we talkedtalked and then Khabir called Singapore Flyer and they said that the promotions are still available! So, apalagik. We dragged our legs to there. Yeah, we walked okeyy! We were like tourists, you know. Because my aunt neighbour said that we can walk from Bugis. Its freaking far lahh! & we walked at places that we've never been too . Good thing, we were not lost.

Haha. After 40 mins, mind you, we reached! Such a relief siaa. We were so jakon when we reached there. Gags :D Took the Flyer and I feel so.... Bored. Because it was so slow and the sceneries were skysrappers and construction sites =.=' Sad right ? Snap a few pictures and then stone for the rest of the time. Haha. After that we walked around the place and camwhored. Awesome place for relaxing but I'm forbid to go anywhere new sea right now. So, we went home.

Ehh no. We went Esplanade and chill. Haha. And pictures wanna talk right now.

Thru think & thin. I love you.

2009-11-03T05:14:00.000-08:00

Hello humans :) Okay, definitely this is my second post of the day. Freaking bored right now despite the fact that many people are online and entertaining me. One of them is Ibrahim Icemint. Or should I call him Astro Boy ?

Well, this post is requested by Astro Boy to write about him. So here I am writing about Astro Boy which is wayy different from the original Astro Boy. Huuhuu :D nie budak, action jekk lebih! Step maner nyer Astro Boy tapi biler orang nak muntah, mintak bakul, punyer lahh lembab dher nak amekkan! Tak guna peh Astro.

I've known this boy since when I don't know, but in 2009 larh. Suddenly, dapat tao jadi Astro Boy ? My gawd. Menyampah. Abeh nak step ajar Qeen macam maner nak buat coffee pulak tuhh ?! Ehhh, boleh blajar sendiri lahh dehy. huahua :D Aku pulak step independent ehh ? Haha. I ain't that dumb to not stir coffee after putting milk okay ? -.-

Basically, Ibrahim is a nice guy with a strong spirit of believing he can achieve what he wanted. He's a good listener also. So, sesape adher problems, go to him. Email address : astroboy-takguna@hotmail.com If you want his number, ask personally. If I give out, later he scold :( What else ehh ? When studying, he will look very stress. He will have that 'can-i-squeeze-everything-inside-my-brain' kind of look. Huahua :D

Ohh congrats to him that was able to go Sec 4 next year. Study hard yoo! (: I'm smarter, hmph! Whatever orang kater ...! Gags :D Ohhh, he said that I'm so hott ! Like Megan Fox, ahh cann ? Haha xD muker wall siak. Okay lahh ending soon. Ibrahim is a nice, cute, funny, cool guy. At the same time, irritating, cruel, bad & mean. Cheyy, No lahh! One more thing, my mum wished to see him ? Whatever lahh ma .

He likes the colour blue and green.
And that is why he is so mean!

Huahua :D dahh out of idea. Otak blank, hangus. Byee!

2009-11-02T21:23:00.000-08:00

Ignore the previous post. I am feeling so scared at that time after what sister told me. Jyeah. And now, I don't know what happen but I am getting worse. Both of my eyes are swollen! :( my itches stretched right up to my arms and I am having bad headache. Fucked up. Pissed off.

I wanna cry lehh. Im suffering to the max. Ubat doctor pun tak jalan. Aper nak jadi nie ? I have to cancel today's plan because of this. I look hideous okay. I don't want to go out because of this shitx! Embarrassed. I'm afraid I have to cancel other plans because of this thing again :'(

Queen, please get well soon. I don't want to stay stucked inside the house, jackie! Asshole ahh this thing. Okay nothing much happened for the past few days so im ending here. Bye bitch.

2009-11-01T06:34:00.000-08:00

Song of the day : Meet Me Half Way

We are living in the 21st Century and things change a lot since the past few years. One of the things that is almost gone from a human's belief is supernatural. I am one of them. I don't believe in ghosts at the first place. Or anything that cannot be proven scientifically. Maybe I have never come across to experience such things. But since this thing that is happening to me since the past 1 week 2 days, im suffering and I'm starting to realise that such things still do happen in the modern urban cities.

I regret going Changi. Even though friends told me not to go there, I refused but still want to go. You know right, I'm kinda rebellious. I don't know if it is because of the 'things' that make me suffer or is it the mosquitoes. I've been facing awful itches all over my leg. Its hurting me a lot. Nothing works at all. I tried applying all kinds of oil but it still doesn't work.

Day and night, I will be bothering about my itches. I'm feeling so fucked up about this okay? It is now much more worse! It grows much more and it started to spread right up to my thigh. Furthermore, I'm becoming extreme lazy. Like I said again, things don't go right. I am different. I used to be the active one. I'm willing to sacrifice anything just as to get out of the house and spent time outside. But now, I rather stay at home and sleep. Oh, one more thing, when I was back from Changi, I fall sick 3 days later.

I really don't know if this thing is something supernatural or something. I am not trying to sound like some freak but it is really bothering me. I have awful looking legs right now and I totally hate it. Plus, I don't know why but I always have the urge to go Changi again. Its like I loved that place so much and I have to go there but no one wants to go with me. So, I ended up not going. I think I better not go. There may be something else that might happen.

Mum gonna bring me to the clinic tomorrow to check if it is because of my blood. Whatever. But she is still not confirmed yet because she keep on saying
" Kau takle tahan saket, tuh pasal."
Hello! The one suffering here is me not her. And the pain is killing me. It is much worse than the ulcers I am having. Whatever it is, I just hope it will go away soon.

I come there (Changi) in peace oke , tok ?
Don't mean to disturb you or what. Sory and please go away.

2009-11-01T01:57:00.000-07:00

When can I get moneyy ?! Someone please spare me $30, can ahh ?
Haha. Muker tembok siket .

Haluuuu (: I'm at Leena's house with Khabir and Leena's mum. Been here since 4 hours ago! xD Why so long ? Coz been watching Kekasihku Seru. So awesome man the filem! Its scary and the 4 awesome people are like concentrating on the show. Right now, there's an advertisement. So while waiting, I blogged something.

After this, 3 of us didn't know where to go. Erm, maybe going eating at Bedok Corner or just hang around at the block. Or maybe having Frolick! (: Now, Leena is applying lip gloss on my lips. Hah, tak penting ehh. I don't know what time the filem is starting back again. Waiting patiently nie.

Signing out, going out soon. Byebye :D

2009-10-30T06:19:00.000-07:00

Everything seems so wrong. Told you things are gonna change.
Day by day, its getting worse and boring. I don't know if its getting worse.
Maybe it only starts to get boring ? Many good things fall onto me during this weekend, so I cannot judge it and say it is bad/worse.

I pass my exams.
I get promoted to Sec 3 Express.
I got a new phone! (finally)
My mum giving me cash even though she is not suppose to.
Jebat starts to be much more manje with me.

Well, all of the above, are enough to make my life so happy for this year. But I don't know why I felt so lonely out of a sudden. I've got no one to turn to now. I have Khabir, the one and only bestforeverfriend. But sometimes, he just can't seem to understand what I am facing. I don't want to share my problems to my other friends because I don't want to be a burden to them and I think they are tired of listening to my cries.

I don't know what is happening to me! I felt so lonely, my life is different from the one I used to have. Even though I was hurt last time, but still I don't feel so 'abandon' like now. Maybe I am missing him ? Noooo! I am not suppose to. Or is it because that I have no money and therefore, no money, no life ? Or is it because I miss shopping or going out as a group like my old gang used to have?

Whatever it is, life gotta move on because I only have 2 more years of hope in here. Some of you know what I mean. So, I have to enjoy manymany and make sure spent it wisely also. So as to not regretting my doings in the end. I'm ending it here and I wanna spent time with my babyboy ; JebatBabat :D

2009-10-29T04:31:00.000-07:00

Gooodd newwsss ! (: I received back my report book , and it was like "Finally!" . So, my prediction was right. I am promoted to Sec 3 Express next year despite some failures. I was like some freak siol when I received that blue book and looked at the results! xD I know I was exaggerating because Mr Gabriel gave me that what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-this-girl kind of look :/

Alright, so let me talk about today. Had Samba Music and I stoned during that programme. It only gets much more exciting when I played the 'drum' (whatever its called) with Fieyana, Azura, Nafi'aah and one more, I forgot who. But my fingers are breaking sakk! The worst thing, my eardrums are bursting and bleeding :'( The space was like so cramp and there's like 7 class in a room. Everyone has an instrument and it gets really chaotic and causes noise pollution!

Recess was suckish because my class gotta do a survey first. So, we only have a short recess but was allowed to go back to the library later than the others. After samba-ing, we had movie screening. Guess what? It was HSM3! Wow, how boring right? *sarcastic smile* I dozed off in the AVA Theatre zzz.

Left the theatre at 1pm because of Drama. Performed for the East Coast Primary students continuously 5 times. Tiring but fuun! Especially the last one. Zach gotta leave early and therefore, Terrence was his replacement even though he has another role. The stupid thing, Terrence didn't know Zach's line! So, the whole skit was screwed up but it was damn funny, I swear. Know why?

Terrence(father) : Wake up! Wake up!
MinJin(daughter) : What is it Dad? What?!
Terrence : Where's all the money I gave it to you ?! Its not for the school right?!
MinJin : What are you talking about, Dad ?!
Terrence : You smoked right? Who teach you how to smoke? Is it your physic teacher?!

Physic Teacher ?! Cool or what, a physic teacher teach students how to smoke ? All of us were like laughing our ass out! Who is he thinking ? Mr Liew, the physic teacher ? Gawd!

Ohh, talking about Mr Liew, he cried just now. Unbelievable right? It is all because of Dayyah's story. It was very touching. Seriously. Dayyah herself cried infront of hundreds of students when she was sharing her story about her Dad that she once hated, during morning assembly for Values For Breakfast. I am so touched and was also shocked to see that she suddenly burst into tears! Don't be sad oke, darla ? Everything is fine now and what bygones be bygones (:

Okee, I am ending soon because to be frank, I've been putting a fake smile because I am mad about something. Syafika Darla and Azz know why (: sorry if I was like throwing all my anger to both of you when I told stories about her. But whatever, its her choice, her life and I got no more to say. For sure, one day, I'm gonna talk to her.

2009-10-27T22:52:00.000-07:00

I am skipping the cheerleading workshop. I am skipping the obs camp. I am skipping the malay remedial. I am skipping any programmes that had connections with the school during holidays! Except for the drama camp (: Another good news, I no need to go Hope Programme! That means, I'll get promoted to Sec 3 Expresssssssssss ! x) I am freaking happy lah! All my worries are goneeeeeee and I can partay all day long till next year (?) .

I didn't attend school today. Due to lazyness and a little bit of headache. I am better now (: Suppose to have performance and Debating Workshop today but hack care larr. I am superduper tired and wish for a rest. But! I regret for not coming today because the students in PY are getting their report books today. The schedule wrote on Friday, but I don't know why the day was moved forward. So, I can only know my results tomorrow. Bla :/

And now, I'm rotting at home. I haven't even took a bathe. Hehe. Lazy lah. Currently, waiting for Khabir's call to hear his results. Hope he and the rest of my friends can meet me up at my house to share the results! Okay, gotta take a bath soon coz Khabir's coming over.
Btw, Sufian, aku rindu kao to the max! Meet up during school hols ahye. Send regards to your mum (: senyumsenyum selalu, love you.

And leena! You better study extra hard starting from today hor! :] Im not trying to sound like an old lady nagging at her daughter but, this is what friends are for :DDD cheyy! Any help, approach me (:

We've reached 1 year and 2 days already! I love you to the core. We've never fought and are always happy. Hope we can maintain our relationship like this forever. I love you and thanks for being there when I need someone to cry on. Spongebob is forever mine. Screw Leena/Syasha that make him look dirty because of both of you dying your hair in my house! x)

2009-10-27T04:55:00.001-07:00

No matter how much I love someone till I'm willing to accept insults or whatsoever, I will never accept love that is not sincere. Thanks Hardy Siao for being all that you are. I am sorry to say those things to Leena because the way she told me stories between you two, are unpleasant. Hope that both of you will last extra long and please don't fight anymore. And I see no more point for you to help me in any kind of relationships. Its just too bad that you failed in making it work but, yeahh, just fate.

It is wrong to force someone to love you. You're hurting the couples. First, the one that hates you will get irritated because you're crazy over him/her. Second, you will be living in a world of fool. Why fool? Because he/she (hater) will continue to entertain you but this is all because he/she was forced to do so or it is either he/she was bored and therefore took advantages of you.

Basically, the relationship between the couple is absolutely painful and there's no sincerity in it. Which is one of the most important 'thing' that have to be inside a relationship. If that happens to any of you out there, leave your lover! They are just not worth it & you'll be wasting your time thinking about him. Like what Ibrahim once said, there are many fishes in the pond (:

Don't waste your life on one admiration of a man, okeee ?! Don't end up like me and then regret everything later. This situation that happened to me is really unbelievable. How could he do this ? Well, it simply just means that he really do not have a human heart at all. Maybe I am right all this while. He is mean, cruel, cold, evil and all the bad things are surrounded in his soul. Why must he be so stupid to follow his friends advises? Its pure clear that by 'doing that' he is hurting a girl's heart.

Didn't he know that a girl's heart is very fragile? Once you broke it, it can never get back into pieces until someone that is perfect enough, help her in mending it back. I have nothing else to say. I am moving on and I will try my extreme best to really get rid of you in my head. I was so embarassed in the bus just now because I was holding my tears from slipping out from my eyes. Its not that I am shy or paiseh to breakdown infront many faces. Just that, I couldn't believe that I am about to cry over such a maniac!

IM MOVING ON. IM MOVING ON. IM MOVING ON. YOU'RE DEAD AND GONE. DEAD AND GONE. DEAD AND GONE.

2009-10-25T04:40:00.000-07:00

Like I said, I'm rotting at home. I didn't stepped out of the house at any time of the day for today! Wow. Quite surprising huh coz usually I would spent myself outside doing nothing that benefits me =.=' Plus, msn breakdown and that make things much more boringg. The whole day, I did nothing except stare into space.

My sister used me as a model just now because she wants to try to do Leopard Eye. Something like that. Quite nice though, and fast! Because usually if she make me up, it took hours and hours. But this time round, kinda fast forward. Good effort :D And after that, I camwhored myself. Pics will be uploaded sooner or later as I had no mood at all to edit it.

Monday, no school! Moderation Day, wahh scary shiol. Just praying and hoping my name will not appear in the big screen at the hall. If it did, I am going to be sooo deaaad. Mum will not going to buy me a new phone, my allowance will get cut down, I will not get to go out as often and I have to spent my life studying harder! T.T

Soooooooo, its soooooooo obviouusss thatt I am superduper bored righhhhttt nooooww. Mum gonna bring me out tomorrow! Yayness! While sister will be stuck in her school doing her examination. Huahua :D good luck yo! Okeh, i got nothing more to say, to write, to type, to spit. Just filling the space, (YattPop's line) filling the space. Filling the fucking empty space!

Btw, I have manymany plans for the holidays.
AND NORLINA! I AM SO BOOKING YOU ON 23RD OCT HORRR! NO EXCUSES PLEASE :D

2009-10-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

Rest in Peace MJ , i miss youu.

I'm rotting at home, so most probably you'll see another post later :D

2009-10-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

HELL YEAH! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? TODAY WAS FREAKING BORING!

I was awoken by Bob's message. So disturbing, shitt ahh. However, its good that he texted me on time or else Mum gonna kill me for not waking up. Sorry yerr Bob coz at thatt moment I was super lazy to go outt. Dragged my sexy body (laughs) to the kitchen for breakfast and Jebat was another nuisance ; disturbed me when I'm eating. Suddenly, received a call from Khabir asking if I wanna go out or nott and I said no.

After thinking for 15 minutes decided to go outt and ring Khabir up. Meet with FeeqaDensa and Khabir at Bedok Interchange and bus-ed to Changi. Walked around there and thought of going OCH but this awesome Khabir suddenly stopped and looked on the floor. On the floor, there were writings.
Shabab Kannan Nithitin
Something like that.

Three of us tried our best to read the words as it was unclear. But right after we read the three words together, one shot, suddenly we felt the creepy feeling. So, the three sweeties argue that we really should not go inside. Nie Khabir ahhh! Pergi tegur tuh writing buat aper ?! :/ We all ran back to the bustop and took bus 2. We had decided to go to Changi Airport. We're supposed to stop before Expo to take 24 but we missed the stop.

So, we stopped at Tanah Merah and waited for the bloody bus 24 for bloody 20 minutes! Finally, the bus came (: but it was so full that three of us cannot squeeze in. Saket hati per :( Then we took 12 to Pasir Ris. Nothing much at Pasir Ris just that we saw many funny people xD Overall, I didn't really enjoy today but it was so adventurous , thats the fun part (:

Ohh, I had my Victoria Secret perfume from Australia already! (: Thanks Miss Faz! Bobbbb ! U gotta buy me something from Australia horrrr ! xDD

2009-10-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

Starting from today onwards, things will be different.
Its not that I can predict or something, its just that, I think it will be different. Its either I might change or its because the people around me are changing. I'm back to the single life and I think I'm believing in karma now. To be frank, I am kinda afraid to be in a relationship again. Whatever it is, life gotta move on yo peeps! :]

Thanks to my lovelies, the best I ever had ; Khabir and Leena that make my night a memorable one. Serious shitt, I was being so emoish yesterday evening and they actually make me laugh hysterically till I'm full of tears. Obviously, that was tears of joy. I am so touched by their effort to make me feel so enthusiastic. I don't know how to repay your kindness. However, I will repay it someday :] We went to Starbucks at East Coast Park yesterday. Chilled there till around 8.30pm.

I had Drama today and it ends nearly to 7pm! Mangkuk. I am dropdead tired by the time. Was already at the bustop waiting for the bus when suddenly Zach and Val came. They pulled my hand and dragged me to bubble tea! How harsh. Val took my wallet so that I won't go back to the bustop. But at last, gave me back when we reached bbt. Crapped with Zach, Val, Brendan, Glenn and Rebecca for a short while. Then proceed to home sweetie with Glenn.

Glenn shared almost everything about himself and all his feelings. Its like we've been friends for so long like that! I was shocked to hear all his stories and he's such a sweet guy, really. He played the piano just for the girl that he loved. Isn't that awesome ?! Aww.... If he sang it for me, I melt right infront of his eyes! He shared everything while I only tell parts of mine.

I'M TALKING SERIOUS OKE GLENN! If you love somebody, hold them tight, make some effort to win her heart and then confess before its too late. You should know what she's facing right now. I suppose you don't want to miss the chance being much closer with her, right? You are sweet, caring, kind, polite, fun to talk to and you're even handsome + cute + have innocent eyes. Why wouldn't a girl like her fall for youu ?! Maybe she did, just that she's shy to tell.

While for me, its different, Glenn, maybe me and that boy were never meant to be together. Hahs, but you and that girl, really make a perfect couple. All the best and you should know, the ones you love are the ones who can make you realise your mistakes (:

2009-10-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

Whenever I hear your voice, I was at ease.
Even if we fight, there's always be peace.
You brighten my worse, gloomy days
Just like a sun shone its rays

I miss your crappy jokes and the way you laugh
I knew we can stay strong and tough
We're fighting for our love, you see
Its clearly that it was just you and me

Empty stomach and sleepless night
That's what happen when you don't hold me tight
We've gone this far and we're not ending here
Losing you is all that I fear

You're the first, to make me cry over a boy thrice
Despite the fact of your painful lies
I don't mean to say I Hate You early in the morning
I'm willing to wait for you till the Earth stops rotating.

Love, Qeen.
I truly love youuuu. I didn't lie one bit. Please don't leave me :'(
This poem, is sincerely written by myself just for you. I am deeply sorry.
I know you're Mad at me, but please I really wish you could forgive me.
You're going overseas for quite a long time soon, I've no idea at all how I could live without you later.

2009-10-21T21:30:00.000-07:00

I want a guy that wakes me up every morning so that I won't miss schools.
I want a guy that send me flowers whenever I am sick.
I want a guy that can help me in my studies.
I want a guy that is willing to stay up late night just to keep me company.
I want a guy that always listen to my cries and give me advises.
I want a guy that sacrifice his golden time just to be with me.
I want a guy that wipe out my tears when I cry.
I want a guy that cook for me when I'm hungry.
I want a guy that can bring me to wonderful places that I won't forget.
I want a guy that always encourage me to do something good.
I want a guy that don't drink alcohol, have tattoes or extreme piercings.
I want a guy that motivate me to stop smoking.
I want a guy that give me something that I like by surprising me.
I want a guy that send me get well cards when I am sick.
I want a guy that make funny and not lame jokes.
I want a guy that always make me smile widely.
I want a guy that dress formally.
I want a guy that kisses me on my forehead before we say goodbyes.
I want a guy that can lend me his shoulder when I am sleepy.
I want a guy that bring me to a candle light dinner.
I want a guy that tune the guitar and sing for me.
I want a guy that bring me to restaurants for dinner once in a while.
I want a guy that always have a hundred and one topics to talk about.
I want a guy that do not always complain about what's happening.
I want a guy that is not stingy.
I want a guy that knows me better than anyone does and understands me.

However, all those that I wanted, is no where to be found.
Its really hard to find the perfect guy.
I am sorry if I said that I hate you, I don't mean it. Really.

2009-10-19T21:55:00.001-07:00

Temptation in my heart
I'm burning, I fall apart
When the night falls
My heart calls
For another devotion.
Temptation I want you
Can you be my only one
When the night falls
My heart calls
For the touch of your hands

That song, is specially for the Malls in Singapore horr. Not for humans (: Haha. I'm kinda obsessed with shopping, just so you know. I am trying my very best to control my spending. I burned eighty bucks today dohh! Thanks to Khabir who accompanied me shopping today (: the best I've ever had. Now, I'm back to brankrupt till next month. Cool huh? NO. Its saddening :(

The plan was to meet at 1.30pm but both of us drag it till 3.30pm. Haha xD He was late because of work. While I'm late because I had a hard time choosing the correct outfit. So, at first meet Syakur at his block to pass Khabir's ciggs. Train-ed to Tampines and waited for Khabir for 3 mins and we started to shop at Body Shop. Bought my lotions ((:

After which, we went around looking for my wallet. Was kinda upset there's no perfect wallet at Tampines. Went into Mango and Khabir bought somewhat a purse. Its unisex and its sexy, I envy it oke? Went into Cotton On. The dress that I wanted to buy, no more! :( Quite sad but i'm back to estatic when I stepped into Charles & Keith. I reallyreally wanted to buy a Charles & Keith shades and finally got one! It was on sale sehh, so why not grab it. Around 4.30pm, headed to Bugis. Eat KFC before continuing shopping.

Khabir bought a Casio watch. Gold somemore! Fuuh. At last, I found the perfect wallet. It was at the Guess boutique. I had a hard time choosing between Billabong and Guess. Furthermore, both are about the same price. Just that, Billabong was cheaper. At last, decided to buy Guess as Billabong looks kind of messy.

Walked to Singapore River since we were on great mood (: but both of us were panting as we reached there. Talkedtalked, discuss about some issue, smoked and then Dad called. He told me to meet him and Mum. Nak blanje makan... So, went to Simpang Bedok with Khabir. Ate Satay there. Mum and Khabir discussed about my love life. They both had the same opinion! So, I guess, I really got to make a change as what they said make a lot of sense.

I wanted to confess about everything I feel towards you.
But, at the same time, I don't want you to think that I'm so obsessed with you.
I just want you to realise that you shouldn't treat me this way.
Not only me but also to the other girls.
I'm just so hurt. Say that you love me when you mean it!

2009-10-19T21:55:00.000-07:00

So, its all a lie ? Wait, it is a lie.
How could you! Its the fact okey, you're the meanest person ever.
I couldn't believe I fall for your trap again.
Imma such a fool and you're such a jerk!
No, its not gonna happen another time. I am so gonna get rid of youu.

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!
How I wish there's something much more bigger than capital letters to say that I FUCKINGLY HATE YOU.
All you do is to make me cry.
You make me fly like a beautiful butterfly but in the end, shot it to death.

2009-10-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

I'm fourteen, still young to be crazy in love and still young to work.
But I need money, dumb ass! x)

Holidays are cominggg. Hohoho :D and I'll be poor by then :(
Trying to convince my mum to allow me to work but yeahh, thinking twice about it.
First, i will feel like there's no holiday. Second, I'm afraid I'll get addicted to work and leaving school. So, uhhuh, no working. But how the hell am I suppose to get cashh $$ ??! Other than my monthly allowance, how else ?

Supposedly to meet Miss Faz today. She invited me & Khabir to have lunch with her but I'm so lazy to go out. Sorry yeahh? Most probably Khabir is with her right now. While me, tengahh goyang kaki to the right, to the left, up down everywhere lahh. JebatBabatCat is being crazy right now with Mum. He drank toilet bowl water! Tak ke siaoo ? Haha ;D cutee lohh.

Was on the phone with BobLosty yesterday. Btw, my handphone haven't yet topup, you know. For sure, after exams I will topup (: Erm. He said he gonna be away to Australia for 3 weeks ?! Walaoooo, so long liao lehh :( gonna miss you like Mad. Buy me something from there horrr ! ;D Qeen muker tembok shiol. Talktalktalk till 12midnight and then we hang up. Sleep like pig after that.

Can't wait for 21 October! (: getting money on that day.
But I need someone to be my date for shopping, anyone ? But also, Terms and Conditions apply. Gags ;D
I'm freaking bored. Someone take me go ride roller coaster please! :D

2009-10-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

I can never find a faithful blogskin.
How saddening :( Enjoy the pics taken on 161009.
Thanks Santi for being a photographer for the day.

One thing I wanna know, are we meant to be together just that it isn't the right time yet?
What you told me yesterday really brought me beautiful nightmares during sleep.
The words that I've been wanting to hear from you, finally did blast out.
I dont wanna lose you even though I tried with my outmost strength to forget you.

tghh penat gyler babi dohh!.

2009-10-17T07:31:00.000-07:00

When you are in love, you felt like you are floating.
Nothing else bothers you more than that person.
Your mind will be spinning his name, his face, his voice.
Its true, sincerity is needed in every relationship.
Both of us are equally sincere enough.
I hide things from you in order not to break your heart.
And I'm also sure, you do hide some things from me.
I'm sorry if I'm not being sincere enough in this relationship.
I tend to forget about my past, but its just too much.

No words in this world can describe how I feel.
My feelings for you grow, I know I'm not suppose to.
There's barriers but I seem to go through all of it.
Don't matter what people gossip about us.
My love for you is endless like the world ain't gonna stop turning.
But there's something I gotta let you know, just that, it isn't the right time.
However, for sure I'm gonna tell you one time.
Its only me plus you.

2009-10-15T06:07:00.000-07:00

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUR HAYATI! :)
May all your wishes come true and don't be too naughty.
Jangan nak main mainan lelaki ajer tao. Also, don't eat alot!
Haha, I will always be your beloved kakak and be by your side (:
Love, Qeen.

Just reached home. So tired oke ?! :x I should stop going Tampines liao. Everyday go Tampines, get more tired and sick. Nothing much happened today. Like usual also. Had Science paper. Not bad luh. Quite easy, but not really confident in passing it. Hoho. After school, had music. Crapped a lot siol! Abeh biler nakk game ? Ugh :x After music, head to Tampines with Syafika. Took 67 and its a much shorter way than 28, oke Humairahhh ?

Walked around first while waiting for Santi and Myrah. Eat frolick again. Getting sick of it. Then took 15 and went Whitesands. Walked around and around, was getting sleepier and sleepier :( decided to go home soon after. Thought of sleeping at home but Santi wanted to hang out at my crib. Yeah, did some chilling. Saw the new friends under my block. Went to them for awhile and chitchat. No one's at home.

Played comp, i bathe and then we ate together with Khabir. Yep, khabir came few minutes later. After which, went to 428 to meet Bby. Watched them play takraw and blablabla. Send santi to Bedok Inter, walk oke walk :p Go home also walk because I didn't bring ez-link card. And finally, blogging.

The Sec 4s are graduating today. So sadd liaooooo!! I'm gonna miss many of you sehy. Especially Bobbbbbbb (: banyak history siol, between us. Haha. Gonna miss MasBee and JJ tooo. Who else ehh ? Hmm, and more lahh oke. Do takecare when you're off the school. And don't forget me tao! xDDDD

I'm closing my upper lip piercing. Its fucking freaking pain, paham ? :D Ohh, im sorry peeps for breaking the promise of not smoking. Wait, is that a promise? Haha, I'll try oke my very bestttttt . Sorry sufian, if you happen to read this. I will, definitely, quit smoking one day. Soon very soon :D Because even my mum wished that I quit and even close my lip piercing -_____- .

2009-10-14T01:55:00.000-07:00

There is no oil without squeezing the olives.
No wine without pressing the grapes.
No fragrance without crushing the flowers.
And no real joy without sorrow.

In another two more days, its gonna be my 2nd month with Bby. Wow, time really flies faster than train. [Oke that's lame.] To think back, I've realised both of us had really been putting up courage to make this relationship a strong one. Honestly, there's so much obstacles between us. Friends and families disliking us being together, his changed behaviour and my busy days.

None of us ever confessed what we think went wrong. Only when it start to get worse, either one of us would voice out and spit everything. Later, everything went fine again. Maybe only in my opinion, its kind of a miracle. Because I thought if we fight, we gonna end it there. My lovelies know what type of girl I am. That is why I'm kinda shock that I still want to hold on and suffer a little.

Well, sincerely, he is such a nice guy. Nothing describe him. Even if I want to, it will be a one page long. Wait, or longer? Haha. He can be irritating at times and very annoying too. He can be the most ignorant person also! He can be the greatest company and someone who listen to your cries. He can make you sleep if you lie on his shoulders. He's just the sweetest guy I've ever met and I've ever had. I'll be stupid to lose such an angel like him.

I am so sorry for everything I've done. I know Imma such a slut and things always go wrong because of me. I'll try to be better and not break another promise. I love you and miss you , terribly.

2009-10-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

Before I go on any further, I just wanna wish all the best for my sister & her beloved boyfie for their O levels! :) Hope you both pass with flying colours and manage to get into Poly or JC aye ? Don't be too stress on studies. My sister seemed so fussed up with studies nowadays. Okay, whatever, all the best oke! :DD

Went out to study at East Coast Park Macs with Leena & Khabir. Before going ECP, went to Tampines to buy my stud and somethingg (: After which, head to Frolick, again! xD They're having 1-for-1 today, so had an extra free ice cream loh! :) Went back to Bedok Inter and waited for Khabir. He's 30mins late! :x Bus-ed to ECP Mac, had lunch first before studying. Thanks Khabir for the treat! (:

Studied d&t and History. Easy peasies topics. So many funny things happened! xD The group beside us was talking crap. We somewhat eavesdrop and looked at this boy, who was like exaggerating on his actions. I swear, he's such a chatterbox and dramatic. The funiest was when there's this boy who slipped and fell when he entered Macs. Sumpah macam Nangka busuk! The whole Macs was laughing at him siol. Paishey gyler. At first, me & Khabir thought he fainted or what, because all of a sudden, he fell down and the dustbin was shaking furiously.

After that, infront of us, there were two boys fighting over money. Aiyoh, one look so serious while the other was laughing away. I don't know whether they were joking or seriously talking. Then, saw Alif with his friends. We just exchange smiles and hellogoodbyes. After studying, went for camwhores at the beach. Saw Aslam, he's having a picnic with some friends.

Camwhored and walked off around 6.45pm. Met Bby at 547 with some friends. Crapped and laughed hysterically. Accompany Khabir to eat at coffeeshop while the rest went to chill at Mamat's house. After eating, went to Mamat's house and watched Fast&Furious Tokyo Drift. Joined in the fun with them laughing as well. Haha. Went home at 9pm, the whole gang sent me home! xD thanks yo.

Enjoy the pichas & I really enjoyed today :D

2009-10-12T05:33:00.000-07:00

Someone hack my boyfie account!
So, please whoever who has his msn account, don't talk to him horr .
He gonna make new account, and add you all back.
But the hacker quite fun to talk to ahh. Because he so stupid! & had no life!
Pegi fuck orang lahh, tak kire aper bangsa oke ?!
Andand, its kinda stupid. No wait. Its very stupid if you hate someone that he himself didn't know you & did nothing to you!
Like what the hell right ? So lame oke. Go get a life xD
Everyone gonna die anyway, its just a matter how you gonna die.
Bodoh peh anjing. Sial peh anak. Go lick your own dick. Dah lick, sedut skali yer!

Maths paper was a slut. Everything that I studied, didn't come out. Fuck siol. Even the easiest questions I forget to do, because i never study that topic. Sad huh.
After school, hang out with lovelies and had nothing better to do, so decided to had my lips pierced. After which, met Bby for awhile. Then hang out with my neighbour. I've been a neighbour to him for like 5 years but this is the first time I talked to him! He's name Jai. Very geerreeek , and he's 20, i think.

Oke, gua dah takde mood.
Ehh hacker! Luu bikin telinga guaaa panaassss dohhh !

2009-10-11T07:26:00.000-07:00

I had Frolick again today.
I'm sorry people if I hadn't been talking much.
Also, my apology if you all forced me to eat but i refused.
Wildan sayang, im sorry for all that i've done.
You have to know how I work things out.
Even though I had a boyfie, I will go along with other boys also.
But doesn't mean I'm playing behind your back.

All that I can say, I'm sorry.
I takk contact you sangat pun coz I slalu busybusybusy bukan I message laki laen oke .
I promise, I'll be better and make time for you.
After the exams oke, dimple ?
Then, we'll go building together.
I love you, from the bottom of my heart.
& i miss you terribly.

2009-10-10T10:31:00.000-07:00

Cheerfulness is the atmosphere in which all things strive.

Its 1.28am in the morning. I just came back home from open houses and studying. Now, my parents are nagging at Jebat for being such a naughty pussy. Haha xD But its really irritating. They screamed at the top of their voices at this hour ? Wah. Power ahh nie dua tua. Oke, I broke yesterday's promise of not going to raya today. Hah, well I got nothing else to do btw. I was so stress after studying three topics of Maths. So, decided to take a break.

Guess what? I had ice cream at Frolick all by myself, alone! Kinda sad huh. Kadangkala, emosi-emosi lah siket... I did some window shopping alone also and bought 3 pairs of earrings. Around 4pm, met Khabir at Airport and had meal at MacDonalds. Thanks for treating me Double Chocolate! :) well, he did that just to soothes my heart. Becoz he's late!

Studied maths at Terminal 1. I was afraid to board the skytrain with drinks. Yelarh kan, takut kena saman! You know, singapore nowadays becoming more kiasu. I heard stories that if you bring drinks or food inside the train, you'll get fined. So, I'm becoming such a kiasu person and begged Khabir to actually wait for the next train so that I can finish up my drink (:

We're actually disturbed by an apek who talked very loudly on the phone. Afterall, we didn't had a peaceful study but it was successful as I managed to cover up at least 3 topics. Khabir keep on staring into space and dreaming of becoming air steward. Hope you achieve what you're aiming lahh Khabir. But don't pull down your studies, tao. Then, we went Terminal 3. Camwhored awhile and we went our separate ways after that.

Waited for family for almost 25mins! Again, im alone ): cucicuci mata and storming ideas for stomp. Ugh :x Then, went to Auntie Hanim's house at Loyang Rise. So big siott. Its a three story semi detached house. So nice, yelah, rumah mak andam pe. Hehe. Unexpectedly, saw Ping Yian at there. Small world! Soon, started to joke around with Auntie Hanim's children. Kekek and cutecute tao dorang. Its a fact that I love kiddos. Sister seemed so lazy but laughed together if they are funny.

Then, head to my auntie's open house and let the makciks chitchat while the children just stone. Then went to another auntie house nearby. Did the same thing and I was already sleeping in her house. So tired siaaa. Ohh, my prepaid bloody low. No cents at all. Sorry if I didn't reply your msgs. Now, some pictures of Raya with primary school friends. Thanks fieyana for tranferring the pichas (: most of the pics aren't edited, lazyy.

at Afiq Adam's house.

Queen, Sabrina, Linda & Kakak Shikin (sorry if wrong spelling)

Feat Kakak Shikin.

Teman Tapi Mesra, for the day. xD

Kiyutt kan dorang ?

Queen, Ajit, Kecyk, Boi, Sab.

Ikot height xDD

Fie, 5years together.

Nadhier, the one who taught me smoking xD

Those are the fireworks moments.

Helmi kelip *winks*

Queen, Linda, Fie, Suraya, Kakak Shikin, Sabrina, Kecyk, Rakin, Alfi, Nadhier, Ajit, Boi, Alif, Afiq, Helmi, Faizul.
I'M MISSING YOU ALL ALREADY! =)

2009-10-09T00:15:00.000-07:00

It takes two for a kiss. Only one for a sigh.
Twain by twain we marry. One by one we die.

I'm starting to get the hang of Facebook. So, most probably you'll see me online there as well as Tagged. No more Friendster, its superb boring already. Even though, it is now renewed. Btw, I'm going raya soon with family. Best aunt has an open house and so I'm going there at around 7pm ? And now, I'm dying from boredom ): Been playing around facebook since the last 2 hours. Also, been looking for stomp ideas. Music test is just days away! But my group hadn't start planning yet.

Supposed to be studying right now leh! No mood for raya, I swear. I just have a slight quarrel with mum. She expects me to go my another aunt open house tomorrow. I already have plans to study! I totally have no mood for raya anymore. And she was like forcing me to go but I refused. By hook or by crook, I'm not going raya tomorrow. It doesn't matter if I'm not around whatt...

Nothing much happened today. Its so bored ): I've been studying science since morning. And left about 3 more topics to finish revising Science. Good job! I'll touch on Maths tomorrow till Monday. I don't know if I can pass Maths. I really hope I can :x I want to go Sec 3 Express next yearrr! I don't want to drop nor retain oke ? Principal, teachers and school, pity me IF i fail maths, please ? ): *touch wood*

Hmm, I had a lot of things to buy. But I'm growing.... bankrupt. Gawd! Qeen boros! Dulu banyak duit, sekarang semua burn! ): cryy ahh cryy! Nehhmind, can beg some cash from Mum xDD huhuu, no shame ahh Qeen. Mintak orang duit. Haha. But I really have a lot of things in mind. Shopaholiccccc bitch. Some one go shopping with me kayh, one day ? Then we'll have ice cream at Frolick (:

2009-10-08T04:57:00.000-07:00

I got so much love for you darling
And I, I wanna let you know
How I feel
And its true that I love you
And its true you're the only one
And I do, I adore you
And its true boy
You make me feel alive

It knocked me down like an airplane crash again. I tried standing up but I keep on failing coz it keeps on knocking. It affects everything. My emotions, my mood, my studies and even my strength to do anything else. I absolutely do not know where to go.

Mum hate him but prefer the other party. Obviously, I would listen to what Mum advised or told me and do what she said. However, my heart is still undecided. I cannot bear to leave him just like that. Its true that he changed and I dislike his new behaviour. Same goes to my friends and Mum. But what if he change to the better, then what stupid excuses should I give?

Maybe I should fly solo again. Whenever I am in a relationship, definitely there is a third party. Haish. What should I do? Where shall I go? I am ashamed. But why isn't he ashamed to have me? In this matter, no one is wrong and there is no path to go and we'll go no further. And things would change but we will still be sticking like this. Either we fight and make things messy or we'll be happy hugging each other. No special or memorable things will occur.

I've been thinking a lot lately and been so restless everytime. I beginning to ask questions to people which I do not know if I can achieve in reality for my future. To be honest, I've been putting a fake smile all this while. I am still undecided of what to do and this makes me really confuse. The song lyrics above, were meant for no one. Until I found the correct guy to be with.

I making a change to myself. Really, this time round I promise and swear upon this blog that I'll be better. I'm going to quit smoking and put up some stamina. :) Studies should come first. I try not to slack too often anymore. I'll be much polite than I am now. I will stop complaining about my pains. I will not go home so late anymore. I will try to be a better girlfriend, depends. I will live my life to the fullest and succeed in my studies as well as CCAs.

I just want to be a better person. I know no one is perfect. But life wouldn't be so wonderful if things are not perfect. I want a cleverer brain and I want to grow taller. ~~I want a boy who has the same rank as me and which can be approved by my parents.~~ I want to be someone that everyone love in the future and also a successful person. I'd be a butterfly, born in a flower. Where roses and lilies and violets meet.

Till the end of time ;
Qeen De'Queen.

2009-10-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday went out with Humairah and Santi to Tampines. But Santi came late as she got performance before that. I had a fun time with them yo! :] Firstly, me and Humairah went to Tampines 1, I bought my Uniqlo Cardigan which cost a thirty :) finally! Then, we walked around and around, buy a new stud to replace the lost one. Then, went to Chameleon, didn't buy the shawl as I think i won't use it that often.

Went into Cotton On, there's this dress which caught my eye. But didn't buy it as afraid there's not enough money. Went to LJS to eatt. Saw many weird people there xD Went back to Tampines 1 and I bought my all wanted Silkygirl Sweetheart Perfume :))) After that, we went to Frolick to eat ice cream. Sedaaaaappp! I wish to go there again. Camwhored and waited Santi to come.

Went into Popular and I looked for card quotes. Kiasuuuuu xD while Santi looked for papers. After which, went to Myrah's house to raya. Bagos ehh Raya pakai school uniform. Camwhored at her beautiful house and went home around 6.20pm. Reached home at about 7.20pm. Total spent, $60 in a few hours? Gawd, must save moree moneyy!! :D Ohh, I closed my Tragus piercing because it was fucking hell painful.

2009-10-05T09:03:00.000-07:00

I don't know what else to do.
We started to fight and lose contact.
I miss you but I don't know if I still love you,
like the way I used to.
You said I changed, but I think that you're the one changing!
What Linda said was true enough.
Lets not reveal what she said, it might be kinda embarassing.
Yerlahkan , Linda matured :)

Thanks for everything that you've done.
I've been the bad one, not you.
But you're the one that is _______ .
Therefore, even small litte things you take it as a big matter.
I don't wish to argue. I don't wish to even talk things out.
Ending it or starting afresh ? I'm still not sure.

Suddenly, another dude came. He make me think of the wonderful events of the past.
About only me and him. I misses him and maybe develop some love towards him.
But I can't, I'm stick with you. But I don't know,
if I wanna continue sticking or tear it apart.
Because you're different! You're not the old you!
You started to annoy me. You started to act like as if you're big enuf!

I've been keeping all these from you.
Becoz I know, it might effect your studies.
I still don't know when can I keep all these from you.
I tried letting it out but the way you talk was that, everything, you're right!
Its unfair oke , its unfair !

If only I've taken the boy that was always lost in his own world.
Life would be better. Even mum says so.

2009-10-04T04:03:00.000-07:00

3rd October 2009

Its the jalan raya with primary school friends! It went off smoothly oke. Not like last year. So, its obvious that this time round it was much more gerek than last year's. Altogether there were 17 of us, including 5 outsiders. But the outsiders were gerek lah. Knew two new friends, Boi & Kechik. They were Haziq's friends. Kechik gerek gyler! I swear. He's neither rude or kind. He's just funny and friendly. Boi was so quite but he started to talk to me when we're about to go home :D

Everyone misses each other. We camwhored a lot. But most of the pichas were on Fifie's camera. So, i will upload it when I received the pics aye? First house, standard, my house :) but the rest meet at Shamsiah's house because they were late. I cannot describe lah how fun it was. But it gets irritating sometimes. Last house was Linda's house. Gerek kebamboom! I likeeeee :DDD

Her house was at Hougang. First, we were at Tampines. Thought of taking 72 but the queue was extremely long so we decided to take train. I have to sacrifice a bloody $5 to topup my ezlink but then, stopped half-way. They all decided to take bus instead when we're reaching Kembangan. Grrr , so we stopped Eunos and board 25. Kecoh or whuttt . Gags :D I sat with RakinRockin'. Chatt with hym and at the same time join in the fun with the gang.

They were singing Raya songs by Siti Nurhaliza. But they only know one line of it all. "Sama-sama kita bergembira" Kekek siol semuer! xD The pakcik behind us also laughed at us. Buat paisehy jekk. As soon as we reached her house, her mum passed us fireworks! Woooo ~ kecohh ahh maen bunga api. Hahaha xD so fun shiol. Boi and Kakak Shikin were like so scared. So, they stand at corners holding on to their fireworks so far away.

AFter playing, we went to eat. Sedaap siott. Then we took pichas. Boi always cover his hands on my phone camera or do stupid things at the back whenever i want to take pics. Irritating pe. We also took video. Kekek ahh! xDDD fun gyler ah pat umah dier. Took taxi home with Fifie, Suraya, Afiq and Rakin. Fie's paying it. Thankyiew! :)) Again, majority of the pics are with Fie. So, not much and those which are not edited means it is not nice. Lastly, I miss them all.

Macam abang & adik kann ? haha xD this is Boi.

& this is Kechik! :)

2009-10-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

2nd October 2009

Finally, the day for me to Jalan Raya with friends reached and even, already ended. Haha. Gerekkk sioolssss ! xD In total, there were 21 people. Kecohh woyyy. Especially Hayat. Whenever he's inside the lift, he would shout like hell lah! I swear, the sound was so ear-piercing. Bob tagged along :DDDDD he lied to me, he said he's not going. Tetiba jekk, muncul. Haha.

They all report at my house first. Standard uhh. So, aku tak payah nak susah2 keluar siang xD Leena, Hardy Siao, Bob & Faizal were late. They didn't manage to singgah my house. We met them straight at anak Adam's house xD Ate mee goreng. Fuhhh ~ enakkk. Then went to manymany houses. Hayat's house was so nyce! Balinese concept and I can just comment 'WOW' .

I gett to hold Bob's iPhone. Bluekk to Hardy because he can't. Haha! Last house was Hardy's house. I've been forced to go even though I'm dropdead tired already. I even slept in Santi's house, you know! Kesiann pehh pasal. Well, what friends are for! xDD Took 31 to Tampines from Marine Parade. Thanks ehh Bob for the shoulder. Fuuuh ~ Bob's shoulder was like pillow sakk. Bestt uhh. I was so dizzy that time & felt like vomitting.

Reached Hardy's house at around 11.45pm. Kimek, ngantok siott. Khabir kena kacau at his house. Hehe, Khabir dah biaser punn. Kann ? Me & Khabir left the house first since its already midnight. We flagged a cab and went back home. Reached home at 12.30am. Good thing Mum didn't blow her top. She's being so relaxed. Haha. Kkay, pictures now. Not much photos, though. Some photos were not edited because its not perfect. The group photo was at Santi's camera. Will upload it sooner .

2009-10-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

Tanpaku sedari air mataku mengalir. Terdengar ayat suci seruan takbir. Tibanya bulan Syawal dan akhirnya bulan Ramadhan. Suasana dirumah sunyi sekali. Kedua anak lelakiku sudah keluar menunaikan solat Hari Raya berjemaah di masjid. Anak perempuanku sibuk mengisi botol kuih.

Aku pula sedang menyusun buku masakan di rak-rak. Maklumlah, baru sahaja selesai memasak Rendang sempena Hari Raya ini. Apabila sibuk menyusun, aku ternampak sebuah potret yang dilukis oleh anak lelakiku yang sulung. Sebuah potret perkahwinan ibu dan bapa kesayangannya. Aku menatap potret itu dan membiarkan fikiran ini melamun dengan sendiri.

Betapa manisnya pada waktu aku dan suamiku, Risyam, berkenalan. Dari titik permulaan kami berkenalan hingga cincin perkahwinan diselitkan di jari manis kami, aku masih tidak sangka bahawa dialah jejaka yang akan menjadi wiraku sepanjang hayat. Pada mulanya, kami selalu menimbulkan kemarahan dilubuk hati sesama lain. Perasaan benci terhadapnya, selalu meruap didadaku. Kami mula berkenalan semasa di sekolah menengah. Dia sering mengambil duit dan meniru jawapan kerja sekolah aku.

Tetapi, seperti ramai orang kata, cinta itu buta. Aku hampir-hampir dilanggar oleh sebuah lori balak. Aku berasa sungguh terkejut apabila lampu lori menyinari mataku dan terdengar hon yang sangat kuat. Aku berasa sunnguh terperanjat hinggakan badan aku ini tidak boleh gerak. Alhamdullilah, Tuhan ingin memanjangkan nyawaku dan menghantar seorang wira untuk menyelamatkan diriku. Tetapi dengan tidak disangka, orang yang menyelamatkan aku itu ialah orang yang aku benci! Iaitu Riysam!

Sejak kemalangan itu, hubungan kami lebih akrab. Sebenarnya, dia seorang yang baik hati dan penyayang. Suatu hari, pada tarikh 15 Mac 2008, Risyam melamar aku untuk menjadi isterinya di sebuah restoran kegemaran kami. Betapa gembiranya aku pada masa itu. Apabila di pelamin perkahwinan kami, kami berdua memaparkan senyuman lebar menampakkan gigi putih bak mutiara. Hinggalah sekarang, dialah yang sering membuat aku gembira dan ketawa dengan keriangan. Daripada kebencian, timbul rasa kesayangan.

Maaf jika penutupnya tergantung. Tidak cukup masa untuk tulis dengan lengkapnya. Nama dan cerita hanya semata-mata rekaan sahaja!
( will post about jalan raya with secx friends soon, pictures included! )

2009-10-01T00:25:00.000-07:00

I stepped out of the library with mixed feelings. I tried my best hiding the expressions so that people would not stare at me. I just completed reading a book about a petite teenager that experienced the same life as I do when I was young. Till now, I am still left alone with no one to take care of. I did not want to go back to my father's house as I am afraid another horrible thing would happen.

Mum died when I was twelve years old. She met a terrible accident when she was on her way to work. Ever since, I have been living with Dad. I had no other siblings. After Mum's death, Dad had been taking care of me very well. He was the only support I have. He was my wonderwall. The promise that he made, was still fresh in my head. " I will always love you and I will never leave you, " was what he kept reminding me before going to bed.

I moved on to a secondary school and as months and years went by, Dad started to change his behaviour. I was fifteen at that moment. Everyday, he would came home late. Whenever I questioned him about this, his reasons were that he had a lot of work to be done. However, sometimes, he would be home being a drunken lad. He even started to beg me for money. He would throw a tantrum, like a child, or even beat me up if I refuse to give him cash.

I started to feel that the relationship between us were getting loose. One day, I found out that he started gambling. Every night, he would come home with different women. It seemed that he really enjoyed his life, without caring about his daughter's feelings. He neglected me and the promise too. One night, I was in my room deeply asleep. Dad crept in my bedroom, drunk. I was awoken by his tappings on my shoulders. I rubbed my eyes and asked him what he wants in the middle of the night. Suddenly, the most unexpected thing happen. A father raped his own daughter!

I was left crying and naked an hour later. Before he left the room, he shouted at me. He exclaimed that all this while, I've been a burden to him and he even wished me dead! I was stunned upon his words. It simply means that he did not take the promise seriously! It means that he hates me! He did not love me! Early in January, when I was supposed to be seventeen that year, I decided to run away because of my father's unbearable behaviour. I left home and stayed at a one-room flat which I rented.

At first, I felt uneasy staying alone but I get used to it after sometime. At least, it is better rather than staying with my Dad. Even though it had already been five years I had not seen him, I missed him a lot. Every night before going to bed, I would look at our family picture and cry. However, I can never forget what he had did to me. I am upset because he never mean what he promised. A broken promised is the most hurtful thing that can happen to a child.

Written on a piece of paper, tied with a string by Nurul Asyiqin, index number 14. Replied English examination question on Composition.

2009-09-30T03:05:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be the starting of End Of Year exams! Scaryy, nervous, enthusiastic and all my feelings are mixed up! :x Its a bad thing. I haven't started studying English. Well, I just came back from home. Was planning to study but ended up did some window shopping. Haha. Useless me! Anyway, nothing much happened today. See, my days are getting much boring day by day :( Get a life larh, Qeen oi.

Went to school with MyrahBby. I thought I was gonna be late but heng ah heng, I'm not :D Reached school on time and listen attentively during the morning assembly. I had PE today. Cool or whut. The girls did almost nothing woii! Of course, me & Feeqa started to gossip when we have nothing better to do. Then, ader berita tergempar! Fuuh ~ mengirap darah skejap.

I even went off to the canteen to look for Leena to settle the shitx. Hurgh, misunderstanding lerrr. Dude gave wrong info to Babe. Then Babe pass it to me and I get so pissed off and then found out the truth and apologised to Victim. Still bestfriends yeah :] Had English and Science after thatt. Boringboringboring.

After school straight away went home with MyrahBby. Bathe, siap2 and go out again. Like I said, planned to study but ended up window shopping. First, went to had my Tragus piercing. Like finally lahh kan! xD Its kinda painful. But it is about the same like the other ear piercings, but slightly more pain.

After which, went to Tampines Mall and thought of having Pastamania for lunch. But both of us didn't bring enough money that's why ended up eating LJS. Talked, crapped, laughed and went out of the fast food restaurant and head to Cotton On. Oke, I wanted the hotpants but it cost almost to $40. Walanney. A dress caught my attention and thinking of buying it soon.

Went to UniQlo after thatt. Ahhhhh! I want thatt damn cardigann. I am so gonna get it by end of exams. Went into Chameleon and do stupid stuffx. Nie Myrah ahh. Haha. I'm attracted to the shawls there. So, gonna get it one also ;) Walkwalk, cucicuci mata and then went to Ta Zhiang. Our girls favourite shopp! :] Choose a nail polish, blue colour. Paid for it but then get accuse for stealing one of them. Bapak dier uhh.

Took 69 back to Bedok and saw Sharifah. Talkedtalked with her. Then took 225 which I met with old friend, Sabrina. This one, another Sabrina. Talkedtalked with her and also her friends. Miss her so much. She looked much more prettier! I swear. They all jalan raya. Reached home and play around with Jebat and then blog. Boring lah hidup nie.

2009-09-29T08:18:00.001-07:00

I spent hours searching for the right blogskin, recollecting the links, thinking of new words for my Profile and also putting in pictures in the extra misc! Actually, been doing all these things since yesterday. But I gave up half way because I've been taking too much time on it. That is why, if any of you viewed my blog yesterday, it seems that is wasn't mine. Haha.

Yesterday was Monday. Monday Blue :[ nothing much happened. The awesome thing, I concentrated in Maths for the whole time! Not only in maths but also in other lessons. Great effort huh, Qeyn! After school, went to the Bedok Library Cafe and had lunch there with wonderful babies. Khabir, Feeqa & Myrah. We were like having a dinner siao. Had Spaghetti, French Fries, Cheese Cake and Potatoes. Haha. Had 6 cups on the table totally.

We crapped and laughed till people stare. All becoz of some stupid nonsense that we saw people doing it while we were eating. Sampai kena gi toilet to cover up shame sakk! After having lunch, we went to the third level to study. I was helping out Khabir in Maths when suddenly 2 librarians chase us out. Wtf lah kan! We're doing good deeds yo. They said secondary school students were to stay at Level 2 and not 3. Hello! There's a group of JC Students studying beside us and they didn't get chased.

So, we went level 2 and we can't sit on the floor. Whereas, there's a group of students sitting on the floor and the librarians didn't say anything! Palabuto lah tuh library. Very sengket! Everywhere cannot sit. So, at last we decided to leave the library. We went to MacDonalds after that. Had Ice Cream, Khabir treated us all. Around 4pm, I head home because very tired already.

While today.
I WAS LATE FOR SCHOOL! I was marked late, worse! I don't know how come I was late because I took the bus at normal time. But still, late. Marked Late somemore! Fuck ah. I thought I would be better today =.=' Had Maths test on Set Notation & Probability. Hoped I pass :)) Everything went so smoothly in class. But I was kinda lost in History lesson. Had Malay Remedial. Macam cheeal. My 7 paragraph essay was in ruin! Well, I did pass . Get 27/50 . But its like, so low ?

After school, went to meet Hidayat, Azz & Nunu. Kesian Hidayat tangan patah xD gett well soon yoo! Chill with them for only awhile. Then, proceed to 52 to meet Leena & Hardy Siaoo. Saw Bob when I'm otw to there. DUIT RAYA BOB, DUIT RAYA SAYA! Then, chilled at 45 with Yatt Pop and Faris as well. Talked random with Yat Pop =.='

After which, went Leena house because she's gonna help me with my eyebrow. Pain siah Leena! :( I felt like crying when she's plucking my eyebrow. But like what pple say, kalao nak cantek, kena tahan saket. Helped her in Tagged as well and she get frust over my eyebrow. Haha! Went home around 6.35pm, and reached home around 6.50pm. So tired lehh. Bathe then straight away sleep. Then wake up again, eat and blog. Uhh boring ah!

2009-09-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

I got nothing else to say. Since you want it this way, then it will be. I tried sending you messages and you still didn't reply. Its really up to you now, I just want you to think. Its already the 7th Year. I thought it will be counting but it seems that it won't anymore. You've change drastically, even Sabrina says so.

Some knows who I'm refering to, up there. I can't believe I shed tears infront of Spongebob becoz of him! Ugh :x what a shame. Btw, sorry if I'm not as active as I used to be. Been absolutely busy and no time at all to blog. Find me in Tagged. I'm super active there now :) Oke , so let start sharing stories now.

I've just came back from Raya Walk with family. I was kinda pissed off at first becoz it was a last minute plan. I was having breakfast with Bby at MacDonalds when suddenly the phone rang, mum expected me to be home early as we're going outt. Whatthehell. But I already planned with Leena to follow her search for bag at Bugis. So, I told Mum that I'll be home a little bit late.

Walkwalk , finally found it. Reached home at 2.30pm (: Get ready to go Raya. Managed to go about 3 houses in total =.=' When about to go home, saw Sabrina! Gawd, I miss her so much, to the core mann! She didn't changed a bit. So, all the way from Woodlands to Bedok, we crapped and laugh like freaks. Invited her over for 3rd October, hope she wants to go! :)

& now, blogging and editing pics. And also I've been thinking a lot lately. I am so disturbed and my mind is such in a mess! I should be studying right now. Well, history papers are infront of me right now. But nothing goes inside. It seems that I have to organise my brain properly. I need a maths tutor lah! No one else except Miss Goh that always have free time. I missed a lot of lessons sehy! I missed a topic that been taught!

I'm so dead. Miss Goh gonna lecture me before the class started. So, before anything happens, I'm going to ask her if she's free tomorrow evening to have extra teaching for me. I seriously, need to recap everything in maths! I'm ending very soon. Becoz my JebatBabat Cat is annoying me, begging me to entertain him. I also need to finish revising my History yo!

Till here.
Oh Baby, till death tear us apart :]

2009-09-24T05:31:00.000-07:00

Dull dull dull dull dull
Everybody's feeling dull dull dull dull dull and they're dulling.
Okeh, that's a crap. But serious shit uhh, so dull today.

I should understand that he's sick, therefore he can't reply my messages. Okeh Qeen? Takmo lahh pikir banyak sangat. Hmm, just that I had a different feeling.

Ayie & Santi, I really hope both of you could lastevenLonger and make sure your relationship is better.

My JebatBabat injuried siaooo! Got blood oozing from his paw :'( kesian nyer. Nehhmind, QeenYourSayang will jager you baek2, or else YayanTokid will marah! Ohh, he replied my msg already! :DDDD Wansuey.

2009-09-23T06:09:00.000-07:00

All my effort is gone to waste! :'( At first, teacher told me that Animal Farm will be tested for End Of Year, but today, she told us that it won't be tested. Like Fuck, right? I've been studying about it, day & night, reading those 4 bulky chapters. I even looked for the videos! Hurgh :x waste my time.

Oke, today sucks abit. But nothing could cheer me up except for my JebatBabat Cat :) After school chill at 55. Crapped like whut. I've been called Adibah Mustapek. That name was given by Leena & Khabs. Siakk uh dorg xD Bby was there as well. He so bad, paitao his friends just to hang out with me. Tapi okey jugak xD but he shouldn't do that often. Or else his friends will think the wrong way.

He sent me home. We cracked shitx. We pretended not to know one and another and started to talk 'awak saya'. Kekek, I know he know, public don't know :) Then, I dragged him to my house. He said I should learn cooking. Aiyoh, nak jadi mak lamer lagikk. I played around with the cat. Then, we watched Syurga Cinta together. Sweet siah that story. Sad, happy, funny and even can make people angry.

At around 8pm, he left the house. Btw Bi , thanks fher everything that you bought me. Especially the bag! :) You know, I already obtain the bag that I wanted so much. That I'm obesessed with it. Haha, all thanks to Wildan. Thankyou lah gemok! :D

Okay, I read my last year's posts. I am so shocked that I was once so obsessed with Khidhir. Gyler sak aku. And also, I was so shocked that I was once so angry with Linda because she paitao me and I even maki her in blog.. ? I can't even recall when it happened! Or if it even happened before. Whatever it is, maaf lahh yerr (:

I love JebatBabatCat .

2009-09-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever fallen in love with your own cousin?
Oke, I started to mingle around again.
I should stop all this shitxx! I must continue to be the new, not flirty, girl anymore. Haaaahhh, thats the way :]

The pictures up there are representing my two most favourite toys ; Spongebob & Tutu. Spongebob was given by Muhammad Sufian, my bestfriend. Tutu the white bear, was given by Wildan Muhd, my current beloved boyfriend. Why I named them like that? Spongebob has its own name. Tutu is because it was delivered to me on 22nd of this month. Haha. So, its actually twotwo. I know its kinda lame.

I love Spongebob a lot! :) becoz it was given to me as a surprise gift, no special events or what. Sufian just knows i wanted it so much therefore he purchased it for me. Aww, how sweet my bestfriend is. Spongebob and myself had been together for almost a year! He first came into my life on 261208, i suppose? Around that lah. See, KITER SETIA TAU. Unlike, the owner and the buyer, we somehow lost contact.

Spongebob has been listening to all my cries. He heared me cry before. He even wipe my tears away. He saw me stressing on studies. He watched me laugh like mad. He met my beloved friends come in and out of my room. He even saw me naked before. He saw me mad. He saw me sick and will always stay by my side when I am. So, basically, Spongebob is not much different compared to my other human bestfriends. I love him & I miss the buyer :(

I'll describe about Tutu when I know her better. Simple description, she smell so nice and she has soft fur.

Muhammad Sufian, I know I'm such a pompan sundal in your eyes. I realised it when I'm browsing thru the old photos and having some flashbacks. I'm sorry for everything I've done. I hope we can continue to be like the old us. Happy & always smiling together.

2009-09-19T05:06:00.000-07:00

Tanpa kusedari air mataku mengalir
Terdengar ayat suci seruan takbir
Betapa daku gembira bila disamping keluarga
Doaku sepanjang masa, agar kau bahagia.

Sebulan kita berpuasa dan akhirnya Syawal menjelma.
Masa berlalu begitu pantas,
tanpa kita sedari bahawa kita telah lalui semuanya.
Hidup ini penuh dengan cubaan.
Tetapi kita tidak boleh menyalahkan sesiapa
kerana ini semua sudah menjadi takdir jalan hidup sendiri.

Inginku memohon ampun kepada setiap manusia yang pernah ku temui.
Tidak kira apa bangsa, umur, jantina, musuh atau kawan.
Ku sesali setiap perbuatan buruk yang pernah ku lakukan.
Mengumpat, menghina, memaki, menjeling, menyakitkan hati atau menimbulkan kemarahan.
Ku sedar bahawa ku telah melakukan banyak perkara yang tidak menyenangkan.
Tetapi ku sedar akan kesilapanku dan cuba memperbaiki perangai yang buruk.

Walaupun sahabat handai, saudara-mara atau keluarga
sudah memaafkan kesalahan ku ini,
aku tetap rasa risau jikalau kesalahan ku ini
tidak dapat diampuni oleh Tuhan Yang Maha Esa.
Sukar untuk aku menjadi seorang insan yang benar-benar alim.
Memang betul, semua orang tidak sempurna.
Tetapi itu tidak semestinya kita tidak boleh menjadi seorang yang soleh/solehah.

Insyaallah, aku akan cuba mengubah jalan hidup ini.
Dan menjadi seorang wanita yang tahu memilih jalan yang benar.
Assalammualaikum .

2009-09-17T02:31:00.000-07:00

3 more days to Raya(:

Raya concert that was being put up, sucks lah oke. I admit. Fuck the mike lah! I talked loud enough for being an emcee for the day, but fucking mike, and my voice cannot hear. It sounded muffled. MCS didn't really put up a nice show. Well, what do you expect. It was a last minute invitation. They expect us to perform and we're only told 3 days before the actual performance. Wtf lah kan? So, yeah we did quite a bad one. But at least, we've pulled through.

Sri Warisan's performance was awesome (: professionals mah. Whatever it is, I fuckingly hate the mike! Spoil my mood siols. Ping Yi nyer mike macam cheeal. Sengket uh! Oke whatever. To keep it short and sweet, nothing much happen today. Just that, I woke up 40 mins late and the good thing, I'm not late for school! (: becoz I walked to school -.- rumah ngan skola dekatt mahh, naseb! And also, ping yi's mike was like fuck.

After school hanged out at fivefive with dikir instructors. Cool or what huh?! Haha. Kecoh rabakkrabakk until baby bising -.- alermak. Sory uh, we're so into fun xD Ayam macam cheeal. He put maracas at his breasts and act like some mak nya. Step pakai tudung somemore. Rosak sak masyarakat Islam! Jalil acted like some holy man. But senget otak nyer. Haha, damn funny ahh! But its like we're making a fun of our own religion, thats the negative thing. Haha xD

I took a video of them doing those shitx. But not gonna upload it anywhere lah kay. You bongkar my handphone then you watch. I swear, we're like setans just now xD You know, speak evil, see evil & hear evil kind of thing. Laughed till broke into tears shiol. So, most probably going Johor with Mum tomorrow. If got tym will go to Geylang to meet the rest. I wanna kluar with Ayam :) gerek uhh nie gyler.

Before heading back home, met with Bby under his block. There's a misunderstanding between us and he pulled me aside to talk. I told my friends to go back home first since I know it gonna be long. Aiyoh, he said I change? What sia change? Ahhhh, whatever. At last, I admit that I was pissed off with him yesterday because of the plans being changed. He knew it! I shouldn't have post it in blog -.- Okay, then I told him everything and the way he talk make me very scared siol. Because he was like so angry. ? Dah shakingshaking, suddenly tears started to sump in my eyes.

Bby spot it and wipe it away. Aww, I'm fine lah oke! Haha. We talked things out and everything's fine after that. He sent me back home. Walked home. Because I forget to bring my purse and my ezlink -.- ugh. oke, now let the pichas do the talking. Not many pics, though.

Jalil's makeover.

2009-09-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

Sot bodoh aku.
Puas hati takya kluar.
Betol jugak kater mak aku , takya celebrate.
Takpe ahh, performance lagik important aper.
Memang betol jugak ah.
Walanney, nak kena tunggu lepas raye keperh ?!
By the time, will still be busy shiols!
Nak kluar raye, skola, exam.
Dah lar, kiter lepak kat bawah block pun cantek!
Mood aku nak tulis sweetsweet pasal kiter, hancur sakk!

Aku dah sacrifice time shiol.
Dah bbual ngan mami. Pujuk mami so aku takya gy johor ngan dier.
Pujuk macam aper nie smuer! Abeh lastlast plan spoil ?!
WHATT FUCK .
Okay, what else can I say uhh? NOTHING.
Cumer takecare jer uhh. Takmo luper makan ubat.
Saketsaket pun pegi training jugak, BAGOS AKU SUKER :D fake.

Takde mood siak nak makan, nak bbual,
nak buat kerja yang kener hand up tomorrow!
Gy mampos uh. Naseb bulan puasa, sabar.

2009-09-16T05:47:00.000-07:00

Gembira kita di Hari Raya
Makan kenduri di Balai Raya
Kalau kita malas nak puasa
Kita sama macam hantu raya!

Four more days to Raya!(: At last, I get my baju raya already. Love it, except the baju kurung. A little bit spoil uhh :x okay so, tonight i'm going to be so busy. So, people, don't expect me to like entertain you lah kayh. Please understand! I'm under pressure and stress siols. Grrr, nak raya pun stress ehk.

I had a hard time waking up to school and for sahur. But I'm not late for school :) what shucks for today was my hair. Macam cheeal. First period was CME, came in late coz bloody teacher arrived late. So, chill at toilet and keep adjusting my freaking hair -.- Recess did nothing much. Gossip ajekkkkk :DDD Supposed to have PE today but Mr Zhang didn't came. So, we had a relief teacher. Did nothingggggg & it sucks. I wasted 3 coloured papers during that period.

English was next. Did situational writing, troublesome siol. Science was the best :] sleeping moments lah, what else? haha. I also wasted another 4 pieces of coloured paper. Tak penting ehk ? xD School's over and me, Khabir & Feeqa head to bubble tea. Bought water. Muker tembok sakk minum air depan makcik! :D kiter aper kesah. Dosa kiter jugakk per yang tanggung.

Went back to school and had tarian. Practisepractisepractise. You all, better blast your voice lah please. Or else you will be embarrasing yourself. Make a new friend, actually he was my sister's friend. Kenal pulak aku. Haha :D didn't expect hym to teach my school dikir barat. He is 16 but look like 20 siaah.

After practise, went to 55 and chill. Rain starts to pour heavily and its super cold! :x Only me, Khabir & Leena stayed. Gossip manymany, dosa bertambah tawuk! Tsk tsk tsk... Suddenly, as we're happily talking, I looked at the watch and its 6.40pm! Alamak, its almost breaking fast time and we're not even back yet. Because before that Khabir said it was just 5.30pm. Haha, then the triplets start to run to catch the bus. I was at the back cause I had a hard time packing up my bag. So funny siak. Macam budak-budak kampong kener kejar anjing. From the back, Khabir & Leena looked so cute & funny running!

Reached home exactly when its time to break fast. Joined in with the family and chatt. And now, I'm doing everything that supposed to be done :) wansuey.

2009-09-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

Munching away Kuih Tart right now. Enak! :] Also, counting down to 12midnight. Ahahakx. Well, had both awful and wonderful day. But will be putting in point form lahh kayh ? Coz im lazy to describe fully.

- woke up late, so came school late.
- make farhan wait ? sory.
- slept in maths class for 40mins.
- miss goh don't even care! how cool.
- recess crapped with syafika about raya songs. :DDDD
- d&t shucks, draw stupid manymany difficult switches.
- slept in the whole of history class again.
- been woken up by teacher.
- lucky i did force myself to listen to some of her teachings.
- english was a total bore, i swear!

- had tarian after practise.
- have a lot of missed calls from Bby. sorry, busy uh.
- was shocked that I have to become karut -.-
- so hate it, but what to do.
- after a long tiring practises, head home.
- went out again with mum to perm my hair.
- met khabir there.
- he accompanied me all throughout the process.
- Bby came around 8 +++ pm.

- finished perming.
- i so love it! :))))
- hanged out at multi-storey carpark.
- BOBAL KONEKKKK! sumpah, mengucap sakk aku.
- khabir macam sial.
- bby pun join bbual konek.
- i was shocked because they talk shitx, most of the time keep on showing middle finger and shut my mouth up.

OKAY DAH LAR BYE :D

2009-09-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

Macam sial peh jantan.
Bayar dua puluh sen, maen macam mesin.
Nak rosakkan relationship aku ngn wildan per sia?
Bulan puasa pun nak buat fitnah!
Mulut ader insurance ke takde?
Lekk sua aku mengatal ehk!
Yang kao tuh pernah ckp pegi break ngan yan, aperhal?
Yang kao tuh pernah bagi pang kiss pat aku, aperhal?

Dulu kao ngan aku okey baby aper.
Abeh sekarang nak burukkan namer aku nie asal sak?
Padahal aku tak buat salah pun ngan kao!
Chibai uhh, malas aku nak layan.

Baby, thanks for accompany me go shopping today.
Not only today, but other days that I wanna go shopp.
You make a great company :] well, you always do.
I love you to the core, I swear.
& now, I'm afraid to let you go. Really.
I didn't expect that someone like you will mean so much to me.

2009-09-13T04:46:00.000-07:00

Which one more cuter ?
Obviously Qeen Shaking ahhh! xD

Okay, I'm just bored lah kayh.
I wanna go shopping again and get that fucking handbag home!

Wansuey.

2009-09-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

Almost complete :) Missing out NiniieHershey, WatyChipmunk and MaiHyper.

Yesterdayyy was gerekkk or whuatt ?! Haha. Early in the morning had Colourfunk Audition. Woke up at 7.30am to get ready to go to school. Took a ride in Miss Tan's car to Tampines Sec with Farhan. Minjin came shortly after because she woke up late. Mainly, we played games that was based on trust. Trusting your own team mates lah. But the sad thing, all of us were supposed to be blind people. It was very challenging when you're blind and you want to avoid obstacles. So, its a thrill.

Make quite a number of new friends :)) Tampines Sec pple are friendly ehhy. But I exchange email addresses to only 2 girls. Hee ~ Head back home, I sent Minjin to the bustop and then I took 222 back. As soon as I reached home, only sister was in. Straight away went to sleep cause I'm dropdead tired. When I woke up, Sis was with boyfie at the living room , eating! Aiyoh, buka puasa. Haha. Then, I get ready to meet Khabir.

When the bus came, Khabir make up a fuss. His ezlink lost. He wanted to go back home and so I waited for him at the bustop for like 20 mins. Gawd, like some lonely girl sehy :( At last, he came perspiring and didn't manage to find his ezlink. Whatever, he had no choice but to use cents. Train-ed to Vivo and bought the things I wanna buy. Chill around Vivo first then head to Geylang. Met up with lovelies at Banquet. Miss you all lah sehy! Especially Syasha. Maken hott uhh luu.

We break fast there. Its been ages that we had those kind of loud talks uhh gang ? Eateateat then we went to Kampong Melayu to watch the performance by some kompang groups and dances. KM2 and Wira Arjuna performed. After we watched only one performance by the kompang, we all went bazaar. Kimak, rimas keperhhhh! Mengirap sak darah pat dalam bazaar. Not going there anymore kayh?

So many minah and mats staring. Ugh :x get a life. Saw some friends but some didn't notice me. Grrr, mentang2 lahh aku pendek. I started to get so pissed with the surroundings. And I'm dropdead tired already. So, started to buat perangai. Scolded everyone that talked to me. Went back to Kampong Melayu and saw Ayie, Hakim and Acap. Rindu korang lahh, tawu? Especially Hakim! :D Saw Opah also, miss her to the core! Talked crap with her.

Waited for Bby to finish Kompang. But because I'm so pissed off with Syakur that keep on dissapearing also with the bazaar surroundings and with my stupid handphone that suddenly cannot work, I put a long face infront of him -.- he don't like it. Then he pulak perangai. So, we didn't talk and I walked away. Waste my time waited for him. Took 7 home and saw Wira boys. They told me wassup with me and Yan and I say nothing happen. Daniel told me he like got asthma coz he had a hard time breathing.

Aku dah panic! Walauwey. Felt so sorry towards him. Texted him and unexpectedly, he was in the same bus with me. Apologised when we alight from the bus. He say its okay. He don't want to tell what happen to him because he don't want me to get worried. Haha, yahh I was damn worried about him. Kancheong sakk member!

Khabir talked otp with his boyfie or whoever and minded his own business. Bby send me home. I told him to go back home and no need to send me because he's sick. But he refused. Degil ahh kao! He was like a drunk boy like that. Then reached home around 11.40pm. Now let the pics do the talking.

2009-09-11T05:56:00.000-07:00

Still obsessed with the bag. Bloody hell lah.

Okey, I am superduper bored now. Currently chatting with 3 people and some weird thing just pop out when someone new added me in msn. I don't know whether to laugh or be scared about it. But she is sure getting on my nerves lahh. A new friend told me to delete her cause he know her last time. But we'll see after a week kayh ? Yay.

I had drama today. Was only 5 minutes late. But at least I was just in time before the rain pours. Drama starts at 1.30pm but I received message early in the morning that it starts at 1pm -.- played on my feelings lehh. Rebecca (instructor) came in, half drenched and she really have a pair of striking boots on. Its hotpink boots like those goth pple like to wear.

Did nothing much for Drama today. Kinda a bore. Ended 30mins late! Because had some meeting. Miss Tan hoped that I could go to the audition tomorrow at Tampines Sec. I didn't want to go but after what she explained what gonna happen, it sounded interesting. So, I decided to just have an experience what they gonna do. Furthermore, I have to accompany the new student to the audition as well. Audition starts at 9am but gotta be in school at 8.30am. Wth ?! I have to skipped my beautiful Saturday morning.

After Drama, Bby waited for me outside school and then we went Inter together. Met up with Khabir. He's late again. But nevermind, had fun talking with Bby. As soon as Khabir reached, we went to NTUC Fairprice. Was inside that market for 1hour. Goodness! Just looking for the right stuffs to buy. Because I had a $20 Voucher, yeah so, spent wisely. Coz $20 is nothing oke! At last, just bought coloured paper, mentos, ice cream. I also treated Khabir ice cream and also bought Bby a deodorant spray. Heeee, sedap oi bau dier. But too bad, its for Men.

Then, we walked back home. Chill under my block till parents came back. Bby go meet Azman while Khabir break fast at my home. Walaoweyy, my new raya clothes is not done yet! Most probably done by next week. Grrrrr, better uhhh or not cannot Raya!! After breaking fast, me and Khabir played the comp and looked at Bby's photo when he's small. Fatty bombom! but cute ahh. But another picha, he looked like girl -.-

Then Khabir went home but I am still feeling down. No idea why lerrrr. Now its only me & Khabir that sticked together like glue since last year. Hmm, friends are gone. Friends forever, can they really stay? I've lost one and don't wish to lost another. But wait, I think I almost lost all.

2009-09-10T05:21:00.000-07:00

Thirty dollars dahh kener burn! :'( baru semalam kluarkan duit, dah habis nyari. Ahhh, but for the sake of my boyf's gift, let it go aje lahh. Yeah, so actually I just came back from studying at Marine Parade Library and also from Tampines, searching for my one month anni gift. Kecoh ehk, its just one month liao lehy. But, I love him to the core ahh. So, the temptation of buying him something, is irresistable. [Gylernyer.]

So, met up with Santi and Khabir at around 2pm. I skipped my job to paint the house. Hoho, mother also give green light to go out, so why not ? :D We did our homework and self study but only for a short while. I swear, its so short. I think not even an hour. Gags. After which Khabir head to Geylang to change his new Raya clothes to a smaller size. Cannot believe Khabir change for smaller size. But me & santi went to Santi's house first. Waited for her to change clothes and then we went out again. Head to Tampines to look for the gift.

Because I'm buying for a boy, I had a hard time looking up for the best one. Just so you know, I'mma very choosy girl. Cerewet ahh kau, qeen! Oh, I realised something about myself. Whenever I want to buy present for someone, I choose it according to my own taste and don't care what the person like or dislike. Haha. Too bad lahh horr. Walked around almost every 'boys' shop and nothing captured my eye. Grr, at last reached Century Square and found just the perfect one. Not that perfect lahh. Because the tshirt is big. Just hoping that Bby might fit. Hah.

I bought him a Volcom tshirt which cost me $27. Like fuck?! I forget the original price. I know the salesman gave me discount. But its nice because the colour is so striking, yellow. But pikirpikir alek, I'm afraid Bby didn't like yellow -.- ahh, dier peh pasal lah. Hoho :D what I know, the tshirt is nice! Hoho, I should have bought it for myself. But its a guy's shirt, haha.

We crapped alot with the salesman. Macam siakk uhh. Haha! :D he really psycho me to buy that tshirt. Lol :D but his assistant, hot dude ahh :] whatever, they know that I'm buying for my boyf anyway. The salesman was really a chicky dude ahh shiol. Serious shit sakk. Kecoh somemore. But fun lahh crapping with him. I talk shit and he did also. Layan kan aje, orang kater.

Btw, I saw an effing nice bag at 77th Street. It cost $39.90. Walanney! Awesome nice sehyyyy! Its a handbag. Heeeee ~ just so obssessed with it lehhh. I want to get that baaaggggggggggg ! Okay lah bye.

2009-09-09T03:02:00.000-07:00

When we face failure, we need to reflect on whether or not the failure is the result of a personal weakness that is within our control, such as a habit thought or feeling. We need to try to overcome that weakness so as to realise our full potential. More importantly, we should not give up on ourselves.

I spent 2 and a half hours on a stupid malay homework. It really pissed me off but yeah, I hardly gives up on homework. That is why I do it without stopping for a break. Being full with high spirits ; exuberant till I ignored calls, messages and conversations. Sorry yo! :] I just want to get my homework done. Its really tiring and hard because its a 7 paragraph composition. Like fuck lahh kan ?! Grrrrrrr :x but with the help of AtikahCuppycake , everything went smoothly fine :] thanks love!

So, currently being dropdead tired and listening to There's Nothing. Its an old song, but reminds me a lot of things. Becoz this song was my ex lover ringtone :) HAH, tak penting ehhy. I get money to do my hair for Raya already :] But I'm still undecided whether to curl or to rebond again. I'm afraid it won't look nice if I curl , like last time. I asked many people's opinion if I should curl or not. They said I look okay with curls. Yahh, but dont know!

Early in the morning I had guitar course. My fingers hurt lahh oi. It feels like its tearing apart :'( but everything's fine now. Was having a slight fever in the evening but after talking on the phone with Bby, everything's fine again! :) you see, when you're in the deepest pains, only the boy/girl you love can heal things back. HAH.

Nothing much happened today. But I love it because its so relaxing. Btw frens , my prepaid is superduper low. I'm sorry if I cant reply to your texts. Biler prepaid aku high, taknak msg. Apadah. Okay....
Wansuey :D

2009-09-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

I'm back home people! Know what I did today? (: I painted Santi's bedroom. Whoooo ~ another successful day of enduring hunger at the most tiring times. Had a lot of fun though nothing much happened during the painting. Oke, let me start talking about what happened during the morning till night aye ?

Morning, wake up for sahur. I had a hard time waking up, I don't know why. I just felt like sleeping in bed and not sahur. But at last, after many shoutings from Mum, I dragged my fat body to the kitchen and eat like a dead person. Waited for Bby's message because he said he gonna wake me up. But, worldlahhh kao! No message till 10.30pm. But that was from Wan. I ignored. Then another message from Bby. And I still ignored and go back to sleep. Third message received was from Santi. I still ignored and go back to sleep. Suddenly, Santi called my house. If Santi never call, I think I would still be sleeping.

She wanted me to come to her house earlier. After talking on the phone with her, called Bby and otp with him. Suddenly, I thought of sleeping back again. So, we put down the phone. But I cannot sleep, so decided to play the computer till 12.30pm. Supposed to be bathing by the time coz I'm meeting Bby at 1.30pm. Okay, its obvious that I'm late lahh kan! Sorry ehk Bi. Bus-ed to Santi's house and we're 20mins late. Hoho, all my fault. Sorry pple!

Started painting her room as soon as we reached. I brought along extra clothes. Heng ahh heng. Because I was like bathing paint when I painted her room. My face and hands are all covered with either pink or white inks. Fooled around with Bby. Haha. I'm the one who started it first. Bahahaha! Can see that he's being veryveryvery patience with me. Bulan puaser orang kater, kena banyak bersabar. But we really had fun painting each other's body. Haha! :DDDDD

We really worked hard. Dah macam suami isteri ehhy. Wakakaka! :DD Yahh, like husband and wife painting their house and really worked hard so that their beautiful house looked so nice to stay in. Okay, mimpi jer lahh aku. It turned out nice though. Just that one part of the room isn't because there's insufficient paint to cover up the wall. Break fast at her house and was really full after eating. Took a bath at her house. Bby also bathe.

I spent my time scrubbing the paint off my body and took quite a long time in the toilet. Hoho. After bathing, no need to paint anymore. So, me and Bby head back home while Santi went to training KM2. But before me and Bby head home we thought of going East Coast for awhile. I was so stupid to mistake the ships as building. Beloh per. Talktalk and I reveal everything to him. Gee, can't believe shiol! No matter what, I sayang him alot okayy. Bi, whatever I told you, just let it be memories.

So, we sit under the stars facing the 'buildings' and enjoying the sea breeze and the soft waves sounds. No stars -.- Talked crap and he told me of his ex-s and such sad stories that he told me. Sat there for so long till tak tao nak balek. LOL :DDD At last, went home at about 9.30pm. Took 196 and its freaking cold lahh dehy! Camwhored with Bby till reached inter.

Bby send me all the way back home. Thanks syg! Most probably he's hanging out with Abg Bob now.... Okay, whatever. Reached home and Mum was baking cookies. I told her I wanted to paint my room also(: and she say, 'tgk lah dulu' . HAHA! Then, now blogging. Just have to wake up tomorrow morning and go guitar course. Walanney!

Bi, I know you must be shocked of what I've told you today. But, I swear, I love you since the start and I didn't lie about it. I know my attitude is the same as other bitches but I am different in one way or another. I promise I won't be like your other ex girlfriend. Well you see, you deserve to receive such mature love. You're the best I ever had, even though we're only almost a month old. Its to only you that I can leave my deepest secrets to. Aku sayang kao , paham?! Okay, good :]

2009-09-07T04:41:00.000-07:00

I am so happy that I've started revising for End Of Year already. I started to revise my Science yesterday and managed to cover up all the topics for this semester. Yay! Khabir came over to study with me. But we only spent about 1hr 30mins of studying. While the rest of the time we played the computer and played dress up game! Woo ~ Even though we played something, it is still a boring day. He break fast at my house and then we chilled under the block and get scared by a cat.

Today shucks. I had maths at 2pm but I came at 1.40pm. Its my first time being so early for Maths. Sit alone at the piano till Damien came. Chitchat with Malai, Jun & Damien before Maths class starts. I was like a blur sotong girl in class. Kept on staring into space and nothing goes inside my brain. Walanney. Teacher kept calling my name and I just nod my head to say that I understand what she's teaching. But actually, I don't understand a thing!

My prepaid low already, that make things much worse. I thought of meeting boyf today but bcoz of bloody prepaid, I cancelled. He just recovered from a high fever. I pitied him so much. Plus, his family is not at home because they went overseas. Luckily, he's aunt is there to help. Bi, anything beep me tao. I'll call u asap using another phone.

OKAY. I AM BORED. NOTHING ELSE HAPPEN OKAY?! I SHOULD GET A LIFE.

2009-09-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

Second post of the day :) I just woke up and haven't even bathe. I don't want to because the whether is so coooldddd! Okay, so currently chatting with Humairah and uploading yesterday's pictures in Tagged & Friendster. Yesterday, I went out with Khabir to Bugis and Marina Square and Geylang. I was 25 minutes late! Ahha, what do you expect? I went out of house at 2.30pm whereas I should be at Bugis by that time.

Both of us really shop and go in to every shop. Haha. I get everything that I wanted already. So, didn't really think about it everyday. I bought a shoe from Rubi Shoes that cost only $10. So happy man :) because it looks exactly the one that I wanted all this while. It was on sale, the actual price was $29.90. Its a lucky day lah. We went around Bugis Junction at first. Went into Watson and its on a crazy sale sial! But I think twice about buying some stuffs, especially the Silkygirl Perfume Sweetheart. It cost only $10.90, usual price was $14.

At last, didn't bought any at Watson. Maybe next time. We went to Bugis Street after that. Bought my vintage bag for $20. Khabir bought 2 vintage bags. One cost $20 and the other cost only $10. So cheap yet so nice! Went around the allies and bought two dresses at $15 altogether. Haha. Ended up carrying 4 heavy plastic bags. Next we walked from Bugis to City Hall. So tired liao walk. We really endure our thirst. So funny when we encourage each other to wait for only a few hours till breaking fast. Texted Mamat along the way and I don't wish to elaborate. Just that, he's a stupid boy & i miss him ):

As soon as we reached City Hall, went to Esplanade to chill. Sit in the Esplanade Mall for an hour and listened to the Violin being played make both of us feel sleepy. At around 5.20pm, we went to Marina Square and walked around John Little Sale. I swear the bags are so nice and cheap! Sale is ending today, so too bad. Sat in LJS while waiting for the time to break fast. Saw Shikin :) Bby came shortly after. He pierced his lips! Whooo ~ Jiwer uhh ehh. After breaking our fast, we went to Esplanade rooftop and chill there. Camwhore.

Around 8.10pm, head to Geylang to watch the show by Tedja & DSP. Same thing larhh, kompang and dance and gamelan all over again. Saw Wan KM2. Gee, i miss him lahh dehy. We went to smoke together and we really talked alot. Ahha! He step maner nyer besar. You old already lahh dehy! Watched a few of the dances and gamelan and kompang then walked off. Said bye to everyone and head home. I am not steppin in Geylang anymore, okay? Good.

Reached home exactly at 10.30pm and show off my new stuffs to family. Gagaga! :D played the comp till 1.30am and sleep at 2am. Okay, thats it! :)) Someone please buy me the Silkygirl Perfume Sweetheart :D awesome!

2009-09-05T09:46:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Nurul :DDD

1) Besides lips, where is your favourtie spot to get kissed ?

- my neck :)

2) How do you feel when you woke up this morning ?

- I felt much more lazier to bathe.

3) Who is the last person you took the picture with ?

- My babydear! :))

4) Would you consider yourself spoiled ?

- Umm, used to lahh. And still spoiled but not really.

5) Do you donate blood ?

- I'm already lack of hormones and want to donate blood uhh ?

6) Have you had a best friend of the opposite sex ?

- Yesza ; Sufian & Khabir .

7) Do you want someone dead ?

- Yahhpp , hym.

8) What does the last message says ?

- " Haha yeah miss the fun just now "

9) What are you thinking right now ?

- What time am I going to sleep tonight ?

10) Do you wish someone is with you right now ?

- No, coz I had enough alr just now . Lol :DDD

11) What time did you get to bed last night ?

- Damn early, but I forget what time.

12) Where do you buy the Tshirt you wearing right now ?

- Baleno =)

13) Is someone in your mind now ?

- Not really lahh .

14) Who is the last person you texted ?

- Yayan Bbylove.

3 pple to do the quiz

- nobody

- no one

- no idea

2009-09-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry because these days I'm being such a pig whenever I'm at home. Sorry friends, families and boyfriend :) I'm being absolutely lazy to entertain calls and messages or hang out with ya all at night or even do some chores at home. Once I'm on the computer, I stick to it. Once I'm on my bed, I stick to it. Its not that I'm lazy but also, don't want to. HAHAHAH :DDDD but you all know me lahh kann, I'll not abandon you all just like that.

So yahh, I apologised to Bby already that I didn't talk much yesterday and even just go to sleep without replying 4 of his messages. Well, you're having an outing with your friends whatt. So, I wish not to disturb. Its a lame reason -.- Oke whatever, I know we won't be fighting just over a small matter. In fact, we never fought at all before even at the most critical times. Awesome, I love you lahh dude! :] that's how we roll huh, boyfie?

I'm going out soon to shop for some stuffs. I had little bucks with me but yeah, just wanna spent time with Khabir. I am relief to hear that she's not coming along. Well, she didn't contact me or Khabir, so it just means that she ain't following. I had a lot of private stuffs to tell Khabir. That's why I didn't want anybody else to follow. Unless if you're one of the beautiful people that I love :DDD Lols! So yeah, meeting Khabir at 2.30pm later on. I should be getting ready and bathing right now. But since the computer was switched on since I woke up, I take the advantage to surf the net for awhile.

Holidays are already here! Wooooo ~ I hate it okayh? I hate it. My mindset about holidays should change right now. Because whenever I had holidays, I had school as well. Its a different thing if I had school because of CCA. At least, I get to do something different, something that I like. But if I'm having lessons at school during holidays, it really sucks lahh oke. Monday till Thursday I'll be having maths, 2pm - 5pm . Friday, I have drama that starts at 1.30pm. I think that there's no holidays except that school will start late.

Okayyyokayyy, really gotta go now. Or else I'll be late. Ohh, I didn't fast for the 5th time and I'm regretting it. Aiyamak.
Wansuey :D

2009-09-04T04:53:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a long post but I'm pretty soon gonna have my night on my bed. Even though its just 7.50pm now. I am fucking tired and still being fucking angry about what happened yesterday. That is exactly the point why I didn't post anything for yesterday. I am so not in the mood, it is so bad that it stretch until today. Sorry bir & mairah if I didn't go to school with ya all. I did go school with Khabir but we met on coincidence. I didn't even answer his calls or respond to his msgs.

Just so you know, this month is a wonderful month for the Muslim people. Most of the Muslims try their best to stand hunger, avoid seeing/hearing/saying censored stuffs, telling lies and even gossip about people. Its true that I also do gossip about other people during the month of Ramadhan, but I didn't condemn about them, damn it! Unlike some people. This refers to only one person, whoever think that you are one of them, its really your problem. But please don't ask if you're the one.

I really think that you're such a jerk. You dare to talk about my bby behind me & him. What the fuck was it suppose to mean that you want him to go inside ? He did a lot of things for you and you didn't even appreciate a thing! What kind of leader are you ? Ohh, infront of me, you are so super kind. I swear. But behind me, you talk about my boyfriend ? I know its not about me , it concerns my boyfriend. That I love so much. And you dare to condemn about him ? Not only did you talk about him but also about my other lovelies. You want to see those best boys of yours leave you huh ? I can easily psycho them :DD

Don't think that you're old and big enough, you can do whatever you like. What, big fuck uhh? Isap suaaahh! If you want people to respect you, you yourself have to respect them first even if you're older than them! No brains ahh. I get so fucked up over this matter. Steady bom pipi sial you say like that. You once said that my boyfriend had change a lot and you want him to change much more. But now, you're flashing back about his old misdeeds and think he's a bad person whereas actually he's now wayy much better than you!

Excuse me! You're the one who always make him stay under your block till 4am in the morning. You're the cause why he always didn't go to school and sleep till afternoon. You're the cause that make him sick continuously as he always didn't have time to rest. You're the cause of him getting scolded by his parents and his principal. You're the cause why he's lazy to study!! You're also the cause why he isn't close to his family anymore.

Please lah, stop talking about others. Look into yourself first can ? You always talk about people's mistakes and the way they behave but you yourself , like kanasai lahh dehy! Even my friend is becoming much more fanatic when she's with you. See lah what unlucky stuffs happened to my love ones when they started to mix around with you. Unfortunately, my lovelies didn't see what he had done. I can say no more except that I ain't joining your group and I ain't gonna see you anymore. I ain't gonna walk past your block nor pick up your calls.

Okayy, gerek ? Without you, mmg slalu gerek :]

2009-09-02T05:15:00.000-07:00

Its the 11th day of the fasting month. When will it end ?! Aiyoh, cannot stand it already sehhyy. Still, I'm tryin my best to endure. Not only endure the hunger but endure the pain that can be felt by almost all of my friends.

I don't care what happen in the outside world. All I keep thinking now is my friends. The friends that always stay together last time. Where are all of them? Each and everyone of you are now gone. To be honest, I felt this longlong time ago. But you know me, I love keeping things like this to myself till someone else voice it out.

That is exactly the point why I wanted all of you to break our fast together this Saturday. But it seems that everyone is busy with their own thing. Of course we can do it another day but the sooner the better. Because I'll be bringing up the topic and I will expect everyone to let out their feelings as a group. People been telling me personally and they don't know what else to do. So, I think its the best way.

But how can I get everyone together? Asal kiter nak lepak , ader je orang laen masok campur. Or, one of you will change mind and decided to hang out with your boyfriends instead. Or, one of you will change mind and decided to go home. I really hope that all of you open up your heart and brains to make a change to our broken friendship instead of sitting there and staring at fate.

All of you , and I really mean it. Of course, we do talk about each other and insult each other behind each other's back but we're still always together ain't ? Besides, that is what humans in Earth are all about. Who doesn't talk about each other anyway ? We still sit together during recess and meet up first before leaving the school. Its already like a routine but now, its like the schedule has change.

I don't know who the hell even change it. No, its our ownself. But because of what cause ? I don't know. There must just be something lacking. I am tryin to find out what. But I can't seem to see anything. Now, the friendship's colour is as dark as as the black cloudy sky when its about to have a storm. There's no sunshine like last time. Where I can see happy faces. Now, everyone seemed so moody all the time and its very hard for me to see smiles on their beautiful face. They can't even wear the mask that they use to wear when they are sad and tries to hide it so that they can join in the laughter as well.

Please don't try to avoid letting me see the sad face. Because the more you avoid, the more you're drifting away from me and everybody else. This concerns to the gang aye . This concerns :
Istilah Susanti, Nur Humairah, Noor Syafika, Norlina, Abdul Khabir. Siti Surahwai, Noraini, Kamisah.
I love you all, don't you still get it why I don't want us to be like this ??!!

2009-08-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY! :D
specially written for all the best teachers.

Teacher's Day was kind of a bore. Except for the concert part. Ohhhhh, I so love it. Just that I was kinda pissed off with Ryan. I get mad over him because of the seating placements. He was the Prefect so he gotta help sort things out. Jun was also a Prefect. Jun already give me the permission to sit where I want to sit but suddenly Ryan shouted at me and shoo me off to another place which is super squeezy! I was on a bad mood for a moment because of that.

Okey, whatever. The concert was a little boring, to be honest. However, the songs make it lively. Dayya and Is was the host for the day and they look so cute. Lol :D First we had a performance by the Angklung. They perform the song Kantoi by Zee Avi. Kimek! In all songs, Kantoi?! No link at all to Teacher's Day. To be honest, I am utterly disgusted with the singer's voice. Its like a bitch voice, I swear! No offence ehh. But overall, it was a nice performance.

Then, there's two boys come on stage to perform. One sings while the other played the guitar. The singer was Bob. He sings very well shiol! I like it :) Then there's some China girls that perform a dance. They dance with the song Nobody. Everyone seems to enjoy even though many mistakes can be clearly seen. After that, we had nominations of the most caring teacher. I'm proud Miss Goh Layna and Mr Syahid won :D But congrats to all the teachers!

While in the afternoon we have shows, in the morning we did Aces Day. Sec2 and Sec1 did kick boxing. Walao. Like crazy freaks shiak. Gagaga :D I hate it. So do other people. I think? However, I did sweat a lot. Hurrhurr ~

Suppose to go back to primary school. Sorry yeah Amira, cancelled it last minute cause I just remembered that I had guitar course to attend. But since Atikah didn't come, I also never come lah. Apparently, didn't went to guitar course as well as primary school. Sorry people! :D I hang out at 54 with normal dudes. Sheila came today. So, did a little while hang out with her till she decided to go back home.

Head home earlier because Mom called and say the clinic just confirmed with her that I'm a positive-gonna-be-a-H1N1-patient. Reached home and slept for an hour. After that, wake up and get ready to go Nyayi's house. Break fast there. Around 8.30pm, ring Khabir up and we confrence together with Daniel & Syakur. Fun talking yo! :] I can't believe that boys do gossip a lot as well.

I want to break fast with all my friends whom now all seem to disappear.

2009-08-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

The weather today is so freaking hot. I was at home all the way. Spent my day watching Boys Over Flowers on the net and after that sleep till time for breaking my fast. At night, watched Snakes On Plane on the teevee and screaming like an idiot and running in and out of my room to avoid looking at the gruesome stuffs. I was like one freak in the house watching a gross show while my other family members mind their own business.

Fucking bored shiol today! Khabir came over at around 9.45pm and we had dinner together at my house. We had Spaghetti that my mum cooked. Chit chat and then he left around 10.30pm. Continue playing the computer and texting Bby at the same time. Ohhhhhhh ~ how boring is my life today ?!

Yesterday was the same as well. Khabir can't make it last minute but we did meet at Geylang. Watched a show of Kompang and dances. Not really impressed. Kind of boring. Head home earlier than the rest. Haishh. Teacher's Day is tomorrow. Have no idea what the school planned to do. I didn't buy anything for my teachers. Just a good attitude in class will do :)

Okay, I'm signing off. Bye.

2009-08-28T22:36:00.000-07:00

Its crazy, right ? To love someone who hurts you. Its crazier to think that someone hurts you , loves you.

I may act quite differently today. Early in the morning already I was in a bad mood. I was hoping for a beautiful day on a Saturday morning but it turned out the opposite. Now, I'm just waiting for 4.30pm. Khabir will come to my house and the whole family of mine will go to Kampong Glam together with Khabir. We'll be breaking our fast together. Actually, I thought of bringing Mamat along but decided not to.

I haven't talk to Mamat yet. About anything. I don't even know how to start. Thanks Acapcet for voicing out something. However, I have no courage at all to tell him. I asked for a break up for the second time and it seems that he don't want to let me go. Its like , he will make up tons of excuses. How eh ? We had a little quarrel early this morning. To be frank, he's the cause for my mood swings today. Just because I can't meet him tomorrow, he blow his top. What the furck ?

I promised him I'll make it up another day. He also told me that he'll try to change his attitude. But, you know, those are just plain words that can't be trusted. Whatever it is, I am sure to be pure dumb to make decisions to fast. When can this thing end shiol ? Sooner the better. But it will only come to an end if I make another wise decision. Sheesh. Can go crazy yooo! -.-

Currently been chatting with my old bestie ; Md Sufian Bin Jumiat. Its been so long since we chat and meet up. He accompanied me all thru the night yesterday since I was absolutely bored to death and nothing else entertains me. Except him. He's the best entertainer I've got but we lost contact for the past few months. Gosh! Miss him truckloads. I do invited him to break fast together with him on 5 Sept but he rejected. Kick your ass lah!

Nevermind. There's Khabir to accompany me :) We're going shopping yeah bro! I will try to ask other members along oke. But I don't wish for many people to follow. To be honest, I don't like many people following me when I'm out to shop. Okay, till here. I wanna sleep liao ;)

Its about love. Its about compassion. Its about kindness and faith. It has nothing to do with luck.

2009-08-28T04:31:00.000-07:00

For the past three days, I've been hibernating at home. Therefore, no post for those days. I just recover from my high fever few minutes ago. Even though I've recovered, its not fully recovered yet. I still have my headaches and get dizzy easily. My head spins right round when I'm typing. I'll try my best to maintain the steadiness .

Urgh! I miss my boyfriend a lot. Wildan Md Bin Adam Malik , come my house when you're free okeh syg ? Okay best! :D I haven't been meeting my bby for the past three days. Except for just now. I forced myself to go down and meet him for awhile. Skali , kena tegur ngan pakcik kepo . Paria betol! How dare he scold us 'Babi'.
It was our fault too lahh. We hugged because I'm going home and its like a sign of goodbye. Out of a sudden, there's an old man shouted to us and say ,
" Eh babi! Bulan puasa kan! "

Aku dah macam , ehh chibai , kao maki asal ? I mean, it is not necessary at all for him to spout vulgarities to us. Urgh, it just increases my mood swings shiol. Okay whatever. Both of us paisehy ready. Haha.

Nothing else to write. Just that , I miss my friends and Wildan Md Bin Adam Malik!
Being ill is the worse thing that can happen to me .

2009-08-25T03:51:00.000-07:00

Blogger , when are you going to get better ? Aiyoh. I cannot upload pictures anymore, so sad. Now my blog is like so dull siahh.

I am so sick now. Get infected by Bby lah. Walao. But its my fault as well coz I didn't listen to him. He already told me to keep a distance away from him as he's afraid I would get infected. But I'm the one who always berkepit with him. Haha. Sorie ehk bie if I'm being irritating today. Btw, things went smoothly in school today. Not much happened. I failed my maths :( like always. I slept during History lesson as teacher was not around. After I woke up, my body hurt like hell. After school, straight away head to Abg Bob's block.

All of us break our fast except for Myrah, Santi & Nini. Coz they're not around. Kimek, lapar gyler shiol kitaorang. We ate like hungry bears. The kecoh thing, we ate secretly. Afraid that makcikx and pakcikx kepo would walk pass , we went to the 3rd level of block 54 and consume our food :) super full after that. After eating and crapping, we went to Lina's crib to chill. The same thing also, kecohhrabakrabak and played pillow fight with FBI. Baby was damn sick but still he disturb me alot.

HorFun and Yakult came soon after that. Me and FBI joked about the sexy ladies posing for the magazines. Haha, well, I pray so that you'll get a good girlfriend aye ? Bby keep on complaining that he's cold but when I touched him, he was as hot as a burning metal spoon. I forced him to eat and to go back home to rest. But Bby is such a stubborn boy. He did ate something but he don't want to go back home. Okay fine. And see ! Now, I'm the one having cough and runny nose. It irritates me a lot! At least Bby's runny nose wasn't as bad as mine.

The rest went home first while me , Khabir & Syaf stayed a little while. We headed back home at 5.45pm and Khabir sent me home. Thanks dude :] When I reached home, only Dad was at home. He asked me what I want to eat for break fast. I say I didn't want anything. Straight to the toilet and bathe. And now posting. Gotta listen to Bby's advise next time. Hoho. Sorie bie , can't follow you to Geylang today. I'm dropdead tired. Love you.

As for Mum , can I be excuse for school tomorrow, please ? :))
:D
Bby : Bye bie. Anw, takmo bilang sape2 tao.
Me : Heehee ~ ahh , bilang aper ?
Bby : I love you.
Just laughed coz I still don't get the joke.

2009-08-24T05:08:00.000-07:00

It was at 6.50pm just now, that my mum shouted my name and shake the house down. I was sleeping like a pig and my eyes just can't open. After that shouting, I was like so wide awake and went towards the kitchen where my mum and sister were preparing for the break fasting. All of my family members seemed to be in a panic state. Lol :D My mum nagged at me for sleeping for the whole day. Hello! Not the whole day okeh. I reached home from school at about 4.45pm , I only had about 2 hours plus of sleep!

I am drop dead tired! I think its all because of yesterday's voluntary work. Yehp, did voluntary work to paint someone's house and clean up a house. Also, to help sorting out food for the needies. It was super tiring lah oke. However, when I've done all the work, I felt a great satisfaction and proud that I actually manage to persevere and not breaking my fast even though it was a hard job. Unlike HorFun, he drank water from the pipe because he just cannot stand it. You so weak!

Altogether ; Waty, Lina, Nini, Nurul, Nadia, Khabir, YanBby, Horfun, Boi, Yakult, Daniel, Syakur, FBI, Abg Bob & FathulRahman , we all did this thing together. Not to forget some help from the Home Fix . I think without their help, we won't do any better. Hahs. It was fun lahh helping all this stuffs just that you'll get super tired after that. Bby get sick after doing the voluntary work. I was super worried for him and I hugged him all throughout since he was cold. I swear, his body heat was like boiling! FathulRahman also seboksebok. So, there's two people sleeping on my lap each on my left and right. Not to forget Khabir that keep on complaining about his stomach. Haha, I was like taking care of 3 big bears.

We had our fast break-ed under the block! Haha. How funny. First time I break my fast under the block. We all had Nasi Briyani. I sat with Daniel, Yakult, YanBby and Syakur. We cracked jokes while eating. Especially me and Daniel. He's irritating but he rocks as well. Gi lancap uhh kao! Haha. Most of us cannot finish the food, so it was kind of wasted lahh. Bby never eat at all! Aiyoh. No point me feeding him, he still don't wanna eat.

After eating, we head to Kampong Ubi CC to wait for them finished their kompang practise. It was a total bore. So, me and Khabir ended up going home earlier. We took the bus home and I reached my house at 10pm . Mum started to nag and scold. I'm sorry mummy, but that's just the way I live. I don't live to please people. Not even my beloved ones. I don't know why but I just cannot listen to advises.

So, that's it for yesterday. I am just too lazy to elaborate the happy times we had. But all I wanna say is that it was super duper zuper fuuuunnn! :] especially when Bby is around. Get well soon darl! And Fathul, adekku . Takmo nak puasa half day ajerrr. Tak bagos. Nanti takle raye. Lol :D k takecare.

2009-08-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

Nothing much happened these few days. Therefore no posts for yesterday. I don't even have the mood to post something for today. However, suddenly I have the urge to post something and share what's on my mind. I just came back home from dinner at the coffeeshop and wandering around at the boring pasar malam with family. Supposedly, today me and my friends planned to go for Terawih prayers but out of a sudden, plan cancelled.

I saw Helmy Mimi today! Kimak, sachok pe. I saw him in the bus. At first, I saw this matrep guy sitting right at the back. He smiled at me but I ignored. Suddenly, he called out my name and I gave him the 'who-what-sia-you' type of stare. Hah, at last, remembered it was Mimi. He looked so different oitt. Much more better than his primary school looks. Hey, people change mahh ?

At Pasar Malam, saw a few members. Saw some Muslims sec2 Ping Yians back from Terawih. I even saw Jaafar and Afiq! Lol :D Saw Boi and he was like super shocked to realize that we bumped into each other. Because we just hanged out a few hours ago and then we met again. He's with his family. Saw Hijanah. Saw Daniel :) he pretended not to notice I'm there. Its too late for me to acknowledge him that I'm there so I ignored. Before heading back home, went to Irfaan's house. You fattttt ahh you now! Just like your sister . Kwangkwangkwang! :D

Not much happened during school periods. I had Drama today and tomorrow. Fuck lahh, feel like not going. Ohh puhhlease! Why must it always be me ? Grrrr . After Drama, I go and meet the rest at 54. Sekarang, tempat tuh, kiter pulak conquer. Chilled with NiniieHershey, KhabirBear, WatyChipmunk, MyrahHyper, SyafikaKechik, BoiFaiz, ZulHorFun, YanBby and Abg Bob. Kecohh rabakrabak. Like usual, they all kacao Khabir. Kesian shiol aku tengok. So, in order to stop it, I called Bby and Faiz gays and I expect them to be far apart from me.

They do what I say and they sit quitely like dogs being scolded. Hahaha! At last, I give in and apparently, they behave. Good boys :) Bby is getting sick again. Whats wrong with you sehy bie ? Nowadays, always sick. Hope you get well soon! I told him to go home and no need to send me back home. So, for replacement, Khabir was the one who send me back . Thanks darla!

Hmm, tomorrow will be the fasting month. Nak challenge pe, Fathul ? Haha. World lah. I hope I'll get to complete one whole month without any unneccessary reasons. Haha. Seriously, I felt so bastard for last year. I still remember sehy. Me, Khabir, Syafika and Fadhila. We so-called celebrated Puasa after school. We bought food and bubble tea secretly and eat secretly at Mini Esplanade. Hahah! Bawak makanan macam bawak bomb sial. Eyes keep on looking left, right, front, back sehhy! Kekek gyler I swear. After eating, we went dancing Candyman. Like fuck sial we all that time!

Okkkayy! Gotta end here now. Kena layan YanBby pulakk. Chao everyone :) selamat puasa!

2009-08-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

For a bad person
With a bad mind
With a bad habit
Having a bad life
Feeling bad right now
Thinking that you are bad
Is having a bad day today!

-Istilah Susanti.

That thingy, was written by Sisterlurp Susanti just for me. It really suits the situation I am in . Ohmygoodness! Now then I realize that I am such a bad person ? How evil can I get ? How bitchy and such a slut can I be ? What am I suppose to do now ? Now then I regret ? Why must things happen so fast ? God! Forgive me for my sins!

To you (some pple should know) ,
Again, I am sorry for everything that I have done. I really don't expect things to happen this way. I don't wish to lie nor do I wish to tell you the truth. I really appreciate and adore your courage to tell everything to my face. I am super shocked when you say that. I really don't expect something like that would happen to me. I mean like , for my whole life , there's never a person tell straight to me that he/she wanted me to stop being such a flirt. Okay, I admit I've been flirting even though I'm attached. But for some guys, I ain't flirting. That's just the way I acted with anybody else.

I know you're super pissed off and damn angry at me right now. I don't wish to spoil your 15th Birthday. But... Its such a coincidence , you see . We didn't even expect to see each other today. I am sure , you also didn't expect me to be with some other guys. I swear, if you treated me correctly, I can love you with full of my heart and I will do anything as long as you won't leave me. But just that , you always don't have time to entertain me. But what Mummy say was correct too . Don't expect people to treat you like a Queen everytime . Don't expect people to have time for you all the time. They have their own busy life too .

To be frank , I am still in love with you. Just that I wish to forget about you, which is hard because you always contact me back at the wrong time. I know you still care . Or else you wouldn't be asking for a meet up . Or else you wouldn't be accepting that keychain. Or else you wouldn't scold me right on the phone infront of him . Or else you wouldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and ask where am I and who I am with. Or else you wouldn't be so pissed off me going out with other guys. Or else you wouldn't be spilling all out to my face!

I give up on life lahh oke . Aper orang nak ckp , dorang nyer pasal . I know my heart still ketinggalan pat hati orang laen . I am sorry to those people who have been heartbroken just because of me. Muhammad Fazil , you make me realize everything . You make me realize my slightest and my deepest mistake . I didn't expect you would turn up to be such an idol in my life. I wanted to apologize . In fact , I did apologize . But was it too late ?

2009-08-18T05:58:00.000-07:00

Science and Mother Tongue paper (Father Liver paper - a lame joke by Ryan YYY.) was today. I think I did well for Mother Tongue but not Science. But still, I hope I pass it with flying colours.

Today was a boreeeeee! :/ A total shit bore taoo. I started off with a sleepy morning. Wasn't late for school. Hah. I slept during Maths class and always get awaken by Byron's noisy voice. Apparently, I didn't concentrate much during Maths. Even though, tomorrow is Maths Test. Hah. No matter how many times and how much I squeeze Maths into my brain, I wouldn't pass lahh oke. I don't know what will be tested for Music, so will just ignore it :)

After school, like usual, meet Bby at Abg Bob's block. Slack there and at last we head to my block. But before that, we sent Waty back to her house to change clothes first. After changing clothes, we went to the Pasar Malam near Chai Chee there and bought some food. Eat at block 40 and cracking. Walked passed Al-Ansar when suddenly those budak masjid carik pasal. Gi sembahyang sudah lah korang! Namer aje budak masjid tapi perangai satusatu pecah sakk! Dah carik hal, takmo kecut ahh kalao kena gertak siket. Abeh nak satsat plakk tuh. Busuk peh perangai.

Met HorFun at the bustop and we head towards my block. Chill awhile because Abg Bob was damn angry thatt time. Hahs, lekk uhh. Like you say, kalao dorg tak kacao, kao pun tak bangun lahh kan. Bby sent me all the way till my door. Thanks syg :D Then, they all went to Kampong Melayu for the meeting. Sorry pple cannot join you all. Tomorrow Maths uhh sehy, kener concentrate sket. Hahs, padahal takk blajarblajar.

Ohkayyohkayy, gotta go now. Tired already liao. Takecare people! :D

2009-08-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

Common Test has already started :p
Now, I can only wish very hard so that I will pass it with flying colours :)) Today was the starting of Common Test , had English and History at the same time. It wasn't that hard lahh. Except for History, I was stucked at the last question because I forget to refer to my Wiki . However, I did a long essay answer for that question. Hahs, so hoping I would get some marks here and there lah.

I really concentrated on lessons today. Especially during Maths. I am afraid I might flunk my Maths again -.- My second worst fear is my Science, which is tomorrow. However, I studied well enough already, so I have some confidence with me :)) After school just now, I hanged out right infront of the school with Khabir, Waty and Syasha . Waited for Wira Arjuna boys to come and then we all head to my block. Except for HorFun , Abg Bob and Waty went to Waty's block to wait for Waty to change.

We slacked under my block when suddenly Syasha had the urge to go my house and edit pichas . So, we all went to my house. Its the first time Bby went to my house and met Mum. Adek step baek sakk depan Ibu ! Haha, infront of Ibu, he behave . Behind Ibu , ohmygoodness! Takle angs dher nyer nakal. Haha. Soon after, Bby and Adek have to leave as Abg Bob and the rest were already waiting. So, they went out first and then I go and get ready to go CC .

Saw Daniel and we went Kompang together. I studied in the Kompang room despite the fact that it was uber noisy. Waty and Khabir and myself kept on talking about fasting. Fasting month is just days away sehy! Haha. After kompang, slack awhile and head back home. Bby sakett ahhh :'( hope he'll get better sooner. Most of the Kompang boys sent me all the way to my block. But Bby sent me all the way to my house door. Haha :D

So tired already liao . Ohh btw, I serious shit dah malas nak layan lambang. Even if you come down to my school and 'hang' me , I won't be saying anything much. Because I get tired entertaining a person like her/him. Bbual keling!

2009-08-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

I gotta move on.

Friday night.

I didn't get the chance to talk about what happened during Friday night because I filled up the post with my feelings about other stuffs , which I desperately wanted to post it about. Okay, but I'm over it already. Its just a dreammmmmm. What happened a month ago, is just a dreaaammmmm.

Friday night was fabulous :D Went to Taman Warisan to check out the show for the opening of lights. Wira Arjuna was invited to perform. So I went there with Bby and helped Wira Arjuna with some stuffs. There's also other groups and some of the people, I know them. Yeah, know them by friends of friends, something like that. Khabir and Waty followed as well. Waty confirm adher punyer. Her boyfriend is the Head of Wira Arjuna , so obviously she'll be there.

The show was actually kinda boring. Except for when they all gather and did some sort of percuasion music. It was fantastic. Small boys like around the age of 7, also performed. They looked so cuteee :D We all head home at around 10+ . Took bus 7 and I slept like whatt on Bby's shoulder. When I woke up, everyone was like looking at me. So paisheyyhhh liao. Half of the group members dropped down at TechnoPark because they went to Abg Bob's house to slack. I decided to go home because so tired already.

Bby sent me all the way home and then he walked back to Abg Bob's house. Sanggup per! Alah, Abg Bob's house quite near... ? Thanks anywayyy :)) Reached home at around 11.30pm and told stories to Mum of what happened.

Saturday night.

Been invited to Khabir's kenduri arwah. Actually, I'm lazy to go but I pitied Khabir. So, I just go lahh. Went there with Bby, HorFun, Abang Bob and Waty. Bby picked me up under my block and we head to where the rest are. Slack under the block first before heading to Khabir's block. We all decided not to go when they are reciting the prayers. So, kiter peng cerite patt mak dher lahh. We say we got Kompang meeting that is why we're late.

We waited at the playground for hours mannnye! Actually, we're kinda bastard because we only went for the Kenduri for the food. Hahs. At the playground, all of us sit separately. The only person who sit alone was HorFun. Kecian. Suddenly, Bby's friends came and we hang out togetha. Quite fun lahh with them. At last around 9pm, Khabir say can go up ready. So, we went up and eat everything. Fuuhhh~ kenyang gyler sehyy! At last, went home at around 11pm . Bby & Syakur sent me back home :) thanks.

The cutest and the most irritating person I've ever met is FathoolRahman ; adek aku.

2009-08-14T21:54:00.000-07:00

I don't want to stay another minute
I don't want you to say a single word
There is no other way
I get the final say , because
I don't want to do this any longer
There's nothing left to say
I've already spoken
Our love is broken

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how I act to what I say
I never needed you to be there everyday
I'm sorry for the way I let go
From everything that I wanted when you came along
But I never beaten, broken but not defeated
I know next to you is not where I belong

At first, I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I would never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking, how you did me wrong
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along

Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
Did you think I crumble? Do you think I lay down and die?

Oh no, I will survive
As long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live, I got all my love to give
I will survive, I will survive.

Baby, hush hush.

2009-08-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

Dear you ,
I am sorry for everything that I've done. Now, its really all up to you if you wanna let it go or keep it strong. I'll respect your decision even if it hurts. I'll agree if you wanna let it go because I know I commit alot of mistakes towards you. But you should know, no matter how many times I lie , no matter how many times I spout vulgar to you and no matter how many times I played behind your back , I will always love you and you will still be holding the key to my heart.

I was uber shocked when you scolded me like that and you maki me like that. Its because you never did that to me before. All this while, I'm the one you scold you with vulgarities. I guess? I've tried to stop doing all this but those words are just part of my dictionary. I don't know what else you hated about me. I know there's a lot more. Other than me going out with other guys and spout vulgar to you , what else? However, I still tell the truth. Even if I didn't tell the truth, I hide it and I didn't lie.

To be frank, I had enough of you. But I just don't know why I can't let you go. I guess it is because of the promise that I made to myself. You make me suffer and wait for about 2 weeks just because your ppd is low. And even like now, you topup ready, you like somehow, ignore me. What is all this about ? If you aren't serious, I ain't serious too. So, don't get pissed if I go out with other guys. Because those other guys had more time for me and they also willing to sacrifice their time just for me. You also make me wait like a stupid girl at home , hoping that you came , which you say you would. I even go down and search for you at the blocks. I called you tons of times and you switched off your phone. The reason is that, you were asleep.

I excuse that reason even though I don't think it is true. I excuse the reason when you say you had detention and after that you had takraw and you cannot meet me. Even though I think it wasn't true at all. I allow you to go takraw. I know the way I said it was like harsh. But, saper sehy tak pissed off ? You see, if you did a mistake , I accept just a sorry from you. Of course I expect you to say something more. But I just take it . But when I did something wrong, how many times do you want me to say sorry and what type of explainations you want from me? I hope you'll come back just to listen to my explainations.

2009-08-13T04:38:00.000-07:00

Getting on my nerves!

Kao saper uhh , pompan?
Pelacur per shiak nak stop and stare pat blog aku ?
Aku dah cukup sabar ahh ngan kao.
Ader hati ehh nak cakap aku Perampas and bodoh and muka taik.
Siket takde heran ahh kalao muka taik.
Perangai cantek dah okeh.
Daripade kao , perangai busok!
Hari hari nak kena cuci kasi wangi.
Tak sal2 hop blog aku abeh spam.
Abeh maki pulak tuhh! So rude!
Mak bapak tak ajar per shiak ? Skola kao pun tak ajar per ?
Ker kao tak skola ?
Ohh luper , kao kan pandai. Tuh pasal tak skola pun tak jadi hal.

Aku tak goyang ahh biler kao cakap gytu.
Sebab aku tau aku tak bersalah.
Unlike you , no shame is it ?!
Kao tak kenal perangai aku, kao diamdiam sudah.
Nak maki aku konon. Step ahh tuh nak kejar boy kao alek.
Dahh ahh ggerl , dah tak laku buat tak laku.
Pegi carik laen. Aku raser mataer kao tuh pun dah tak nak ngan kao pasal perangai taik kao tuh.
Aku trust mataer aku sendiri. I have no doubts on him.

Kalao betol aku curik mataer kau , bagi ahh namer mataer kao saper!
Bagi umur , skola and birthday dher .
Atau apape yang kao tau pasal dher , bilang aku ahh.
Abeh we'll see kalao mataer kao tuh aku curik ke takk.
Kalao salah orang, aku nak kao angkat paiseyh ah , puki!
Mintak maaf cium kaki ahh.
Namer dahh lah Lambang. Buat kekek ahh luuu xD
Anyway, kawan aku , kao tak payah nak kacao lah.
Ader hal ngan aku , bbual ngan aku jekk .
Tak payah nak spam & maki pat kawan aku nyer blog jugak ahh.
Takde cara per kao ?
Kental lahh lu.

2009-08-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

Mataer aku Muhammad Fazil aka Mamat .
Aku sayang dher dan hanya dher .

I'm not the type of girl yang curik mataer orang.
Kau pikir aku second hand perrr shial!
Takde time ahh nak curik curik orang punyer benda.
Boleh carik sendiri lahh , babi.
Kao pikir kau saper sakk nak tuduh sembarangan.
Ehh, malay luu power ahh beb :]
Laen kali tuition aku malay kk ?

Yang aku tau , Mamat aku pehh sayang.
Aku ker kao shiol yang curik dher ?
Pikir uhh siakk dua kali dulu.
Dah ahh, malas aku nak layan budak macam kao.
Laki banyak patt luar.
Hilang satu tak jadi hal lah beb.
Kalao betol mataer kau syg kau gyler babi, dher tak layan ahh pompan laen.

Dah ahh, kao tengok cermin abeh pikir uhh kao layak ke tak jady mataer orang.

2009-08-12T02:31:00.000-07:00

Chiiiiibbbaaaaaiiiii ! :/
Blogger is acting like a nuisance! I always don't have the mood to blog if its acting this wayy. Shitx larh. But, I still gotta update something so my isayyousayyisay-what.bs.com won't be dead.

Things are going smoothly these days. But not in the afternoon or night. I always had a very dull and boring nights. Not like last time , where I use to hang on the phone for hours with different people. However, yesterday was interesting. Mamat told me to give him a call. So, I did. Even though I don't feel like it because I was busy revising for the upcoming test. He was being so irritating that night and I swear it got on my nerves . What do you feel when someone says to you "Diam ahh, dah larh tak virgin."

For non-malays, go translate it yourself. Whatever it is, I know I'm still one :) kan ? Other than he keep on saying thatt, he also irritate me by playing Follow-The-Leader kind of thing. Gags :D but it was funny lah. He supported Chirul and say that Ping Yians are crybabies. Abeh asal ehy ?! Sott per aku. He talked about my school. Macam lah skola StPats bagos sangat. Talkedskiptalkedskip. Then, he forced me to meet him on Friday. Which I am not free. I was like explaining things to him that I am not free and make it another day. I had Drama liao.

Then, he started being so cute that I myself pitied him :D he said,
"Kalao you taknak jumper I on Friday , I taknak jumper you FOR-EV-ER!"
hahaha! the way he said it was uber cute shiol. Then, he started to sulk. So, I was like okay fine, I'll meet you. He don't want other days. Even though he's free on other days. Aku pehh belo, forgotten that it was our anni on Friday. SHOOOTTSSS! Hope nothing cock up again :/

Nothing much happened today. Except for P.E :)) aku duduk one corner dengan Jun & Damien. Haha, played tennis which I suck alot. So, I decided to sit. Suddenly, Damien and Jun joined me as well. We started collecting tennis balls and then we challenge each other to throw it as far as we could and no one touch it . Nak katerkan, aku lah yang menang :D Then Jun planned to throw balls at people and who aims right , will be the winner. I aimed at Andy and Andrian. Lastlast, kena scolding from them. Jun's plan ahh, so don't blame me!! Jun is very evil too. He aimed at me , you know! Then, hit my face. Lucky no blue black. And good thing he apologises.

Okay, gottago now. Following Santi to Tampines Mall. Sorry Lina if I can't go out with your family todayyyyyy! :( maybe next time , kirim salam to Mami and Papa :D

2009-08-10T06:28:00.000-07:00

My goodness! My blog is getting worse. Changing of the fonts and colours are all gone. What is wrong with it ?! Sott per aku.

National Day was a day before . I spent my National Day going for dance at Tampines early in the morning and went out to Esplanade with friends at night. It was not a bad day. However, it was super tiring! What do you think ? I was already out early in the morning to perform under the hothot sun :/ but at least I get a reward for dancing :))

Syasha and santi went back to my house after the dance and we dressed up for the night. My apology to Wildan was accepted . I was 30mins late and he waited under my block. Suroh naek rumah , taknak. Coil waited for us for 1hr 30mins and thats worse . Syasha was at fault lahh. Pegi cakap jumper kul 5pm asal .

We took the train to Esplanade . As soon as we reached there , fuuh , minah dan mat reps scatter everywhere sial. Peh benci. Most of the links or shortcuts are closed , so we have to take the long way to get to Singapore River . Met Lina and Khabir there . They've reached much earlier than us. There's no choice , so we have to sit on the grass. Super packed shiakk! We waited and waited for the fireworks and spent our time camwhoring.

After the fireworks and pledge taking , we went to Marina Square to eat. Actually, we thought of going Boat Quay. But suddenly, at the undertunnel there, the crowd was like ants! Yeah, so we have to turn back and head to Marina . We all hold hands because afraid that we might lost each other. I hold hands with Yan:) all the way. Suddenly, ternampak Mamat! Mamposmampos diedie.

Got some problems cock up and friends hated me for some moment. Sorry ahh kalao aku macam tukar baju. I suffocate in Marina Square. Saw Khidhir with a girl but he didn't saw me back. If Santi didn't tell me also , I never realise. Saw Fahmi in MacDonalds but he also didn't saw me back.

All the people that I don't wish to see , I saw . All the people that I wish to see , I never saw . So sad uhh :( We hanged out at Esplanade and I had Yan all to myselfffff !:))))) Anas and Hafidz came but shortly after that , I gotta leave. I left with Khabir and Yan. We took the train. The night seems so silent. Seems that many people went home early.

Yan sent me all the way home. Thanksyiew :) Reached home around 11.45pm . I didn't bathe or what. Just changed my clothes and go to sleep. Woke up around 2pm in the evening! Gaggggaaa .

Last year National Day : Spent it with Khidhir.
This year National Day : Spent it with Yan.
Next year National Day : ?????

2009-08-08T18:56:00.000-07:00

Whenever I am feeling low ,
I look around me and I know
There's a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to go

I will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which brings us life
Winding through my Singapore

This is home
Truly
Where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me
Where that river always flow

This is home
Surely
As my senses tell me
This is where
I won't be alone

For this is where
I know its home.

Happy Birthday Singapore :) you're the best country I've ever lived.

2009-08-07T22:12:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Istilah Susanti .

1) Are you single or attached ?
Ans : Its complicated.

2) Do you have a person you like ?
Ans : Uhhuh.

3) What is the name of your person you in love with ?
Ans : Risyam.

4) If the person you in love and your mother dropped into the sea, who will you save ?
Ans : my mum , because she took care of me first.

5) Have you hug someone before ?
Ans : like duh.

6) Do you love your parents ?
Ans : To the max :)

7) Will you hug the one you love ?
Ans : I'll squeeze them.

8) Are you willing to do anything for your boyf/girlf ?
Ans : See the weatha . Haha.

9) Are you jealous now ?
Ans : If I saw anyone wearing THAT Adidas flipflop.

10) Who was the last person who messaged you ?
Ans : Khabirbear.

11) Who is your clique ?
Ans : The photos are posted at my profile.

12) Do you want babies in future ?
Ans : Yesza.

13) Do you perfer MacDonalds , LJS or KFC ?
Ans : MacDonalds kuuuuu ! :D

14) Do you sniff glue ?
Ans : Noooooo! I'll never.

15) Do you smoke ?
Ans : Uhhuh.

16) If your boyf/girlf play 2 timer behind you , what will you do ?
Ans : Break sudah, carik laen.

17) If you rich what will you do ?
Ans : Donate some money and spend on shoes/bags/clothings/hair treatment.

18) If the love ones held your hands , what will you do ?
Ans : Never let it go.

19) If the one you in love , reject you , what will you do ?
Ans : Continue waiting till I found someone better.

20) What is your favourite character ?
Ans : Domo :)

21) Friendship or love ?
Ans : Both .

22) Cookie monster or elmo ?
Ans : Cookie monster supplies me food.

23) Do you use laptop or computer ?
Ans : Computer .

24) Do you like lollipop ?
Ans : Not really.

25) Do you have a diary ?
Ans : Nope , never kept one before .

26) There an admirer , and won't die heart , what will you do ?
Ans : Speak proper english.

27) If you quarrel with your boyf/girlf , and ask for a breakup , what will you do ?
Ans : I'll see how bad the situation. Cinta monyet sia kalao umur gini !

28) Are you blur ?
Ans : Sentiaser.

29) If you can have your hair dye , what colour will it be ?
Ans : Black , its easy . So the colour won't fade :)))

30) Who is the last person you chatted with ?
Ans : Muthukumar Malaiiyappan .

31) How many boyfriend or girlfriend have you beaten before ?
Ans : Err , 2 so far.

32) If your boyf/girlf don't love you anymore , what will you do ?
Ans : Break up, don't force/beg someone to love you back.

33) What school are you in ?
Ans : Ping Yi Secondary School , principal was Shanti Devi Thambusami :))

34) Tag 10 bestie or friend to do this quiz ?
Ans : Sorry, i LAZY .

2009-08-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

Singapore is turning old in a few days time. Time flies super fast and the next thing you know , you forgot what happened yesterday. Or the day before. You will realise that you will have a shorter time to do a couple of things in a day. You will realise that you are losing friends in a blink of an eye. You will realise that you started hating more and more people. You will realise that everyone's love is fading just because you are too busy doing your own thing.

Nothing much happened these few days. I am getting lazier to hang out but much more hardworking in studies. I stopped sleeping in classes except if there's extra time. I stopped day dreaming or messaging people during lessons time. I stopped drawing and scribbling stuffs on my worksheets. I started handing out my task on time. Started to revise back my work at home and spend less time on television, computer as well as handphone. Yeah, been abandon my phone since the last few days.

Things are different and things are changing. But that doesn't mean I have to change too , right ? That was what I learnt when someone read out the Values For Breakfast this morning. All my friends are changing. To the worse! I started hating my own friends. But of course those that can click with me well , I still loved them. Except for this couple whom I hated so much right now. I am starting to get so annoyed by them! Just forget about it lah then. Their life , their seluar dalam. Maaf , aku tak jaga dan tak nak amek kesah :-)

I am just going with the flow nowadays. Don't bother whats happening around the world. Been extremely busy. However, today I have to sacrifice my evening nap for 3 things . First, having drama rehearsal . Followed by Dance at Kaki Bukit CC and lastly, meeting Mamat . Ohh, I'm having performance this Saturday. Tiring nak mampos! I don't talk much nowadays too. I kept myself silent. Maybe its because I am feeling so tired. I don't know how well my day will be when I'm meeting Mamat later on. I don't even know if I want to let it all out.

I am ending here :-) actually, I'm at school. The first girl in class to finish the work. So yeah, have the opportunity to use the computer again! :))
I am worried for my bby boy. He's sick :( get well. will visit you again tonight kay , sayang ?

2009-08-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

Oh so - there's another love triangle going on .

What am I suppose to do now ?
Move on larh , aper lagi ! :D
haiya , but he just texted me just now and confessing that he missed me .
Wait , this will only happen once in a week . You won't get showered with love if you with him, you know!
But , kalao , aku break ngan dher , confirm namer aku busok shiol.
Ehh minah , dher yang buat kao suffer , dher yang goreng kao . So , takde makna kalau orang nak bbual busok pasal kao .
Betol jugak , abeh ngan _ _ _ aku nak buat aper ?
Tolak tepi sudah. Cakap jek yang kao tak pernah ader feelings pat dher and we've just known each other.
Hmm , so hard lehh . Just go on with the flow sudah.
Tapi sampai biler beb ? :/
No man no cry leehhhh ! Haha.
Macam paham lahh lu ! :D worlddd .
Kwangkwang . Dah lar, aku nak goreng dher alek . I'm back to the old Syiqin !
Ehh takmo uh , perangai busok shiol gytu .
Cannot shiol . Mesti nak ader revenge uh sehy.
If god can forgive then why can't you ?! (step uh macam khabir bbual)
Lol :D i'm different , i'm not god .
Suker hati nenek uhh :]
hidup nenek mahh .
asalkan nenek bahagia .
dahr tuatua pun nak jatuh cinta .
Standard ahh . I'm young at heart , aper ! :D

Script written by : Qeen Shakerred .
aku bbual sorg , abeh asal ? :]

2009-08-03T06:58:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable. Impossible. Untrue.
I cannot believe that I actually posted something about you . I cannot believe that I actually dedicated my all time favourite song which I promised to explain the lyrics of how deep my love is to my beloved boyfriend. I cannot believe that I once fallen for you. I cannot believe everything that I've done and I cannot accept the fact that I am once again confused in love just because of you!

Where were you when I needed you the most ? When I need comfort that soothes me back and a shoulder to cry on ? Is this how you treated your girlfriend ? That is what I heard from many people about yourself. If its true , I honestly be proud if you turn over a new leaf and change your mindset on having a girlfriend. I hope I am the only person you're doing to. Because if you've done to many other girls , that just means you're a pure jerk! Not gentleman at all and its totally the opposite thinking of you in my mind.

This was my second time facing such problems with boyfriends . But at least my ex boyfriend had the caring heart to call me just to say that he's home . Or at least , he would called twice or thrice a week . But you , hopeless! I texted you quite a number of times and you replied none! Not even the day after tomorrow! I keep on calling you but your phone was always switched off . I understand your prepaid is super low and you think no one would contact you . But think about your poor girlfriend right here lahh!

If we didn't meet each other earlier , I wouldn't be with you . I would be with the person whom I loved the most and whom can make me happier than ever. Whom can accompany me all throughout the night and bring me to sleep. Whom can make me think which is better . Whom always brings me the strength to wake up everyday and go to school just hoping that I could meet him . I wouldn't be so depressed like now. I would be the most happiest girl in the whole wide world. Unlike being with you , that brings me nothing but emoshitxx/darkness to my life!

To my beloved dead boy , I swear to this blog of mine , that I honestly sincerely love you from the deep bottom of my heart. Even if you break my heart once till I cried over the phone with your bestfriend , my love for you can never fade that easily. I appreciate everything that you've done. Listen to my blabbings , occupy my free time with busy debatings over the phone with you , tell me interesting stories when there's nothing else to talk about , went out with me to Penin even you were so so so lazy to go. I regretted for letting you go just like that . I want you back . I want nobody nobody but you , but will I ever get the second chance ?

To Muhammad Fazil , I am letting you go . Kao pegi fly kite jauhjauh . If it wasn't because of my bestfriend , I wouldn't still be with you . Shoo , takecare :D

2009-08-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Budak tuh , cute gyler nakk mampos punyer shiol :D i want his dimples , thats all . Nice knowing him and so lucky to know him . Haha .

I was late for doing the project . An hour late . Honestly, I had nothing on justt that I am feeling so lazy to go out at 1pm . Its like so early! But at least I came okay . My group members waited for me then they started doing the project . Yeah , we manage to get it done by 3.45pm . I met Khabir and hang out with him after project . Standard lahh , kalao ngan Khabir confirm talk open punyerr .

Suddenly, saw Waty and Fera . They're going to watch Wira Arjuna practise kompang at Toa Payoh . Sanggup perr gy saner . Saw Syakur, Wan and thatt cute boy ; yantokid :) hahah . When they about to head , me and Khabir also say farewell and continue to hang out at the blockss . Talk shitx and crap things over . Around 6.20pm went home .

As soon as I reached home , switched on the TV and popped out Masak Mini song . Tahun bler nyer lagu shiol ! :D hahaha , I get addicted to that song for awhile sampai terbawak2 biler tgh mandi . Gaggsss . Did my homework after Maghrib and had the room all to my own :)) When I was busy doing homework , sekali got dead person called me lahh .

This dead person is the most meanest dead person I've ever met . He insulted old people just because he didn't get a longer life to live . Because he was dead at an early age . Pathetic kannn ? That dead person accused me of being old . Padahal dher yang beranak dulu! But his reason , I got an older set of mind . What shitx ? That dead person always wants to win and at last this old person give in and layankan aje . Old person don't bother lahh actually. Just that dead person was so irritating until old person had to shut him up but failed :( but its fun lahh talking to this dead person . Sorry I'm not cabot-ing with dead person tomorrow ehh . Will just meet you after school for 5 mins ! 5 mins only, and I'm sure we'll talk a lot .

Told you , I am so posting it in my blog :-) bye dead , and rest in peace in hell yeah .

2009-08-01T20:34:00.000-07:00

Daaaaaaaaaammmmmnnnnn iiiittttttttttt !!
My blog starting to behave like other people blog account . Fuck you very much larh blog , I treated you good enough all this while sehy ! :/ pantatt kambengs lahh lu . geramm per!!

Currently blogging and going through Friendster . Its been so long since I logged in to Friendster . Same goes to Facebook . Nowadays , I have no time fher computer stuffs . Been so busy with remedials and cca =) justt like yesterday, I had Oratorical competition . Sad thingg , I didn't make it to the finals . However Siti got into it . Congrats babe! :) but i don't know if she won fher the finals or not because I'm not there to support her . Sorryyyyy !

I am so tired , you know. So, I decided to go back home rather than staying in Tampines Junior College . Took bus 17 alone to go back . No one at home when I get back , so I decided to sleepsleep tight and wake up back at 2.30pm so I am just in time to get ready to go out . Mom came back short after but she went out again to bby house . I woke up late ! Started to panic and just putt on any tops and bottoms which I think I have not wore it fher so long .

At first , I thought of taking bus to Bugis but since it was nearly 4pm , I took the train . But thanks ehk Dan :D to keep me waiting for you for 25mins and get questioned by the police . Yahh, got questioned and they asked for my particulars . Luckily, I never bring ciggs . Dan was super late . As soon as he reached , we head down to iluma . Bought tickets for Harry Potter movie and went eating first at LJS .

Harry Potter movie , blehh lah tahan boring . Not much actions like the previousprevious Harry Potter movie . Too much drama and love sick story thingyy . My butt hurts sitting in the cinema fher 2 hours plus . After movie , me and Dan went to search for lighter . Suddenly, we saw nice bangles and bought one same bangle again . Haha. Dan went to City Hall while I go to Bedok Macd to meet lovelies .

Was on the phone with Bob!:) while waiting for them . He told me one funny story that happened to him and no one knows . I'm cracking my ass laughing when he told me . I'm expected to let it be a secret but I'm so curious how it happened . Haha , takper lahh . They came and I put down the phone . Talk to them and I hope you all keep it silent of what I told you all okayy ? But this got nothing to do with Bob .

Santi told me what she dreamt last two nights . It was so scary . I hope I won't die fast .

Alrighttt then till hereee . Gotta do project . Pehh malaaaassssss !

2009-07-31T07:41:00.000-07:00

Thank God Its Friday and I really love it babeyy :-)

Things went so smoothly and relaxing today . I was late fher school and its already counted the third time I'm late fher the month . So, I thought thatt I would get a detention fher it . However, I'm being so lucky and I do not have to go fher detentions :) Detention stayback for about 2 hours reading a book and cannot do anything else , who wants to go ?

First two subjects were so boring . Followed by recess which I forgot what happened . Music was a total bore , I swear. We had a quiz and its like stupid questions given . I mean , damn simple if you study with a single glance . After the quiz , we get to groups and did some clapping which my group don't bother to do . Like usual , Syafika and me started talkingtalkingtalking .

D&T was a sore! I sucksuck manymany in D&T , my workpiece like shitx shiol. Binget gylerr aku . Bob was just at the opposite side , same room :)) I'm super pissed of during D&T lesson . Okay, skipped . After school went to 59 and lepak with manymany friends . Kekek shiol cucu bawak bag Khabir ! ;D nenek patt sini ketawa sampai suara takde! We were on our way to 59 when suddenly me and Syafika started to play catching . Lina joined as well. Kecohh rabak, sumpah xD

Around 2.30pm , Mairah and me head back to school fher ELDDS . We were 5 mins early . During drama , we learned self defense and some stomping and clapping and snapping . I had vlister at my right middle finger . Super pain you know :( Drama ends a little bit late . Took the bus home with a few sec 1 students . Irritating sehhy Zul ! He was the most annoying person I've ever met . Aku tak kacau dher pun , dher kacau aku . Mind your own business lah next time .

Meet ghurlfrends at MacDonald and first time meeting Coil . Cheyy, last long ayye :D They wanted to lepak but then I'm very tired . Plus, I have to search fher some drama stuffs . Lina accompanied me . We went back to my house first and get myself clean and changed . After Maghrib we went out to search fher Index Cards . Then, Lina's family invited me fher dinner . Woo ~ naik lorry beb , saper taknak ? Prepare jer ahh to get rambot rock ! :D

We head to East Coast first but since no parking and like so many people , we head down to Beach Road and had dinner there . Aku ngan Lina relek ajer patt blakang lorry, gossipgossip . The wind, was so nyce :) We had Bonesteak and Mutton Chop fher dinner . Yummyyupps :)) It was effing delicious , I swear . We crapped alot . Lina's father was so funny . We were on our way back when suddenly Lina's father saw a $10 note on the floor . He quickly took it and pretended nothing happened . Nie part kekek shiol , but lazy ahh to explain ~

He gave $5 each to me and Lina . Alahh , orang kater , dahr rezeki kann . Takmo tolak . Huahuahua :DD Took lorry home also . Thank Lina's parents ! :)) I really had fun with all of you and appreciate everything . Okay, now gotta end it here . Tomorrow OraTorical Competition !! Scaredscaredscared :/

2009-07-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

Aloha readers :))

I just love today . Haha, weird lahh . Cause usually I would hate Thursdays but today seemed not bad . I was just in time fher school today . The first period was History that stretched till recess time . Miss Tan was absent so there's a relief teacher that took over . She just handed a simple worksheet fher us to do and we have to do it in our History group. My group finishes quite early. But mostly the ones who did the thinking was Wei Tian and Si Ling . Syafika and me were busy talking about the quarrel yesterday .

Suddenly, Shanti Devi walked past our class and confiscated Charlotte's handphone . But it was Doro the one who's holding it . Sasuayy shiol. But the class told me that the principal has been walking back and forth our class since the pass few days . There must be something wrong . Hmm , okay . yeah so , during recess time Doro went to the General Office to look fher the principal and take back the handphone . Syafika followed her . They only get to go out from the office when recess was nearly over . So, I accompanied them fher their recess. Which is the upper sec recess .

Haslinda , Charlotte and Jing Yi joined as well . Alahh , Zainah nyer class . Hack care lahh. Yeahh , so we actually skipped CME and sit at the canteen . Its only the part when we wanna go back to class . A little bit troublesome . I'm laughing my ass out mann during that time :D We took the usual route , the nearest route back to class , without realising that our beloved form teacher , Miss Tan was having lesson at the First floor and which was very near to the staircase classroom. I was right at the back and all of us were walking and taking our own sweet time . Suddenly, they all stone and say 'Go back! Go back!'

I was like , what ? They started running and so do I . Then we took the longer way . But stupid us , the route that we're taking can be seen by our classroom windows . So, most of us were like crawling down so that our classmates can't see us . Sumpah busuk siakk perangai! But me and Haslinda just keep on laughing and continue walking , relaxing. At last , the bell rang and we ran back to class . Yeah, just afraid that Miss Tan would come back . But then , Zainah haven't go out yet . The rest , sardin masok class while me and Jing Yi stuck patt toilet . Nabei! Jing Yi and me were like freaks siall , I swear. Haha , but fun lah.

The rest of the period went smoothly except fher A/H . Miss Tan gave all of us lecturing on attire and hairstyle . I'm supposed to get my hair dyed black back by now but I'm too busy to do so . Hello! I dah dye black balek okayy , the colour fade . After school , did nothing much except crapping at Bubble Tea with lovelies . Sorry Bob , tak lepak . You lambat sangat lahh !

Went home and sleep :)) at night , went to neighbour's house and lepak there . Yati Binte 'Susuman' jealous aku ngan bby boyy ! boohoo~

2009-07-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

29 July 2009 , baby boy lahh dehhyyy ! ~

Happy nyer nenek disini :) :]

Gonna visit my beloved neighbour at the hospital today. She just delivered her baby at 2.20am this morning. All safe and sound. Her husband told me that the baby is so fat and heavy. Confirm berat shiol kalau aku dokong dher :) Obes! The couples have not decide on the baby's name . And now, Hayati has become the big sister . Takmo ajar adik benda yang tak baik pulakk yerr :-) kalau tak , nenek kat sini sebatsebat pantat kao . We're like one big family already.

I'm on leave today but I had to go to school later just to pass the script for competition . Walaooweyy, malas banget sihh. Ohh, thanks to the people that wished me Get Well. Yesterday night I received tons of messages from my classmates and schoolmates asking me "Are you okay ?"

Aww, you all so sweet lahh . I will come back to school tomorrow aye ? Especially to Ryan Yeo , you will the chance to disturb me again okay ? I've always been bullied by Ryan , you know! But he's a great guy lahh . Fun to be with.

Currently I'm listening to What Do You See , by Electrico . The song is quite nice but it doesn't suit to be in a National Day song . I think I would prefer Lekuasimi , which I first thought Leukemia . Haha. The next song that I'm addicted to is the Cadbury Eyebrow song. The song is so cool lahh. But kambeng btol , I tried downloading it thrice but can't . Don't know whats wrong. But you should watch the part when Lily Allen tried doing it , gags! However. I still don't get it what does it got to do with chocolates.

Yesterday I was on the phone with boyfie . Okay, the conversation suckx because most of the time we were silent. There's nothing to talk about . By the way, he's outside and therefore kinda busy. Busuk sial , I think we're fading and the relationship between us started to get lose . With his prepaid that is terribly low and his work , his school , his training , whatever else lahh. Both of us seem to get busy each time and we started to have less communication and less time to spend. Maybe we used up all the time previously.

He busy with those stuffs and I'm busy with dance , drama , remedial , history projects. Gawd :/ Nowadays I lepak no more . No time and always been tired. My plan to watch Harry Potter blum tercapai-capai lagik :( someone watch with me , please ? My boyfie getting busy, so he can't watch with me . Friends got no money, except fher Syafika but she's busy this Saturday. Haiyahr , damn it. I also have to buy a red tshirt fher National Day but I'm doing shopping with Mummy .

Okay, sayonara :D bby boyyyyy , can't wait to see you!

2009-07-27T23:29:00.000-07:00

Having stomach cramps are the worse thing that can happen to me . Not only stomach cramps but also ulcers . I hate to be sick at any part of my stomach or mouth . It makes me suffer the worse . I fainted at the front gate before entering school today morning. Woo ~ I make history for today . Its the first time I ever fainted or felt that dizzy and then straight away lose my conscious .

Luckily I am with Humairah , Syafika & Leena when we're on our way to school :)) so, they actually helped me . Thanks alot to Linda that gave a helping hand too . I did complain to my mum before leaving the house to go to school that my stomach hurts . But its quite common for me to have stomach ache early in the morning. So, I just left . It started to hurt more when I reached Bedok Inter to board 222 . I didn't took notice of the people around me , just concentrate on my painful stomach!

The pain started to get worse when I was in the bus . Steam shiol! The pain affected almost my whole body and I seem to get weaker by time . As soon as I alighted from the bus , the surrounding seems to change . I told Humairah that I am feeling so dizzy but I can't seem to hear her reply. Quickly, I sat at the so-called stone outside my school. That was the part when I lose consciousness .

My friends were already so panic . At that time , actually I wanted to shut their hell noisy , freaking voice . They like , so kancheong and expect me not to faint. My goshh , aku dah lemah gyler, what do you expect ? At last, Haslinda came and she's the one who has brain , among the others . A security called a teacher and the teacher carried me to the security post while OM bring along a wheelchair. I didn't dare to open my eyes because whenever I opened them , I will begin to shiver and everything seem to be in a tumble . Everything I saw seems very far too .

The security guard and my friends told me that my lips looked so pale. I don't know what's wrong with me. Mum & Dad rushed to school when they received the news . I felt much safer when they're near :)) I poo-ed in the staff's office and they actually cleaned up the toilet after I did my business . Sorry if I make a total fuss . Parents brought me to Polyclinic . We took taxi there . I know there's some commotion behind and some students are calling my name but I cannot see anything . So , I ignored.

When I see the doctor , he asked me what's wrong. So, I told him what happened . He looked so shocked to know that I've fainted earlier . Then , he asked if is it because of my menstruation . Here's the funny part .

Doctor : Have you come your menstruation yet ?

Qeen : Nope , since the past 3 months.

Doctor : What ?! Have you tried taking pregnancy test or not , ahh ?!

Qeen : Huhh ????? Nooo .

Doctor : No ahh ? 3 months never come , don't you think its quite ab-nor-maaall ?

Qeen *just laugh*

Doctor : Okay, tell you what . Go and take pregnancy test at room 44 .

I stone for a moment and good grief , its a negative . Like hello! I've never done such things. Dosa aper ! Yes , its true , that is how my menses go . It always skipped for a few months but will come back 1 day . Doctor suggested me to see a specialist but I refused. I still don't know what happened to me and why I fainted and why I am having stomach cramp . The doctor did not say anything. He just gave me medication and medical certificate . I ate breakfast at MacDonalds first before going back to house .

I am feeling much better but still feeling weak . Thanks to those who helped me earlier on :)) I can't wait for Cik Suadah to deliver her baby! :D its a baby boy.

Much love ,

Syiqin.

2009-07-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TAGGY , RIGHT ?

I WILL FIXED IT UP NEXT TIME :D

SORRY FHER THE INCONVENIENCE .

2009-07-25T03:52:00.000-07:00

I'm wondering why
I only see him in my dreams,
The love of my life,
He's the only one for me
My L.O.V.E oh My L.O.V.E

Baby you're my shooting star
Ride with me and I'll take you far
Explore the world and back around,
You lift me up and you hold me down

You hold the crown and you make this team
There's no couple like this King and Queen
There's no other couple like you and me
The boy of my dreams, my everything

I love this feeling
Ya, Ya love is healing
I, I need it, I breathe it, No way I'd ever leave it
I'm so into you, Don't know what I'd do
Ya love is so true
Its just me and my boo

I never thought I find another love like this
I never forget the first time we kissed
Your body against mine,
The touch of your skin
Your lips such a beautiful kiss, such a beautiful kiss

My L.O.V.E , he elavate me
He fly and so free , was blind now I see
And without him now what would I be

I'll still be hype, I'll still shine bright
Who be there to hold me so tight
Who be there when its lonely at night
My boy is so right, the love of my life

Your picture perfect, I can't imagine my life without you
Its like I'm floating on air whenever you're here
Baby come with me and I'll take you there !

With tripping eyes and flooded lungs , I just want to say that I miss you a lot and I promise to love you all my life . I want to run but only far enough to make you miss me . But it seems that you felt nothing at all . I didn't know you would end up meaning so much to me . Please come back and never go away again .

2009-07-24T05:12:00.000-07:00

Define friendship . What a question! There's no definition to the meaning of friendship because different people in the world would prefer different kinds of friendship. However, what most people would want in a perfect friendship is someone to lean on and someone whom cared about them . That is what I learned during the YMCA Oraltorical competition earlier this morning .

Miss Tan , my drama teacher , invited me to support Joshua for the competition . Get to skip classes today just for this :] I woke up late actually. If I didn't have this thing going on , I won't be going to school. So, I actually rushed and didn't had a proper wash up. But I did brush my teeth ayeee ! :) The consent form says that we have to be in school by 7am . Gawd, that was so early and that is the reason why I'm rushing.

When I was rushing and combing my hair, Miss Tan texted me and said we have to be in school, infront of the GO by 7.45am sharp. I was like , whatt ? I woke up and rushed to school just to be on time but at last , its extended to 45 mins . Okay, then I was like taking my time and everything's normal.

We were early to reach YMCA . Its my first time stepping in that building even though I know it existed for so long already. Most of the contestants looked confident but when they're on stage , they started to tremble and tripped on some words . Some even forget their lines and had to refer to the paper . But thats common. A boy, even had a runny nose and its kind of irritating when he did that snorting sound.

Joshua did quite well but he kept looking and reading from the script. Unfortunately, he didn't make to the next round. Nehhmind, try next time :] I was kind of stupid dumb girl when I was there . Almost the whole time , I stick to Trizia , Rafifah and Michelle . Michelle is such a pretty and sweet girl . She just joined the school this year , sec 3 . Okay, why I called myself stupid ? here's the story .

We had a 5 mins break and I went to the restroom with Michelle . We had coffee after that. Hot coffee. Yeah, the organiser sponsered us that. But we have to make the coffee ourselves. I mean , there's a flask consisting coffee and tea , separately. Then you choose either one , then you have to add sugar/milk on to your own desire . I don't know how to make coffee or tea . I don't even know if sugar goes with tea or with coffee . I don't even know if milk goes with coffee or tea .

I chose coffee and pour a lot of milk to it . I pretended that I know how to make one . It shucks :/ it turned out awful . So, i thought if i put more milk , it will taste better , but it did not. It taste much worse . Nak tutup paisey , I drank it all up. But each time I drank , I'll make a stupid face. Miss Tan bought us cookie . I still had it in my bag . When there's another 20mins break , the four of us (Trizia/Rafifah/Michelle/myself) went to the YMCA cafeteria .

Ohh my goodness! =0 the things there are quite expensive . I swear . A small amount of food cost you $7 , the cheapest . So at last , I just bought a cake . Its called Vegetarian Brownie but it doesn't look or taste vegetarian at all. No cheesecake sehh :( & that brownie , about the size of my palm , cost $4 . Aiyamakk.

Reached school and went to Tarian. But didn't practised anything as I got drama again . We did fencing :)) so cool lahh shiol ! Gerek gyler , fight2 pakai sword . Huahua :D looking forward to practise fencing and did a good one. Tak lepak nyari . So tired. Sorry to the people whom I said that I will lepak . Sekarang, everyday busyy ah babe .

2009-07-23T05:52:00.000-07:00

Nama saya Encik Liew

Badan saya banyak bulu
Muka saya macam kartun

Kalah wajah sutun!

Saya sudah belajar sepuluh tahun

Tapi tak pandai-pandai pun

Hari tuh saya tak zip pants

Check-check banyak ants

Saya memang seorang pervert

Tuh pasal hari tuh, terkeluar birdbird

Otak saya yellow
Tak ada orang nak follow

Umur saya pun dah tua

Otak lembab dan tak berdaya

Tetapi saya tetap dihormati

Sebagai seorang cikgu yang horny

Happy Racial Harmony Day everyone! :D well, actually it was on 21 July but my school celebrated it on 23 July , just because assembly was on that day. Yeah, so I get to wear my punjabi dress . I love it :)) but it didn't suit my face . I look better with Cheongsam or Baju Kurung/Kebaya . Most of the pupils wore Cheongsam to school. Everyone looked gorgeous today.

I met Lina and Khabir under my block and went school with them. Then, we met Syafika and Humairah at Bedok Interchange . Took bus to school and it seems that not many wore ethnic clothes to school. But as soon as we reached school, everyone looked different. Hahs :D basically, we didn't do any studying today. History was awesome same goes to after recess periods . Why history was great today ? Because we get to play the computer :))

During English period and the rest of the day, we did the Photo Montage and Wall Of Fame . Its a competition whereby you have to decorate the class. All of us played a part in helping. But there's also some lazybums . Some played chess too. I helped with the Photo Montage. I have to cut photos and photo captions and then paste it on the photos . Hahs. Talked so much with Damien during thatt time.

The dudes in the class , non-stop taking pictures. But they did help too. Jun was always with his fan while Ryan was always with his sarong. Ohh, its Muthhukumar Malaiiyyappan's birthday! Happy 14th :) Damn kecoh larhh when we did the project. Dorothea was like in charge of the Photo Montage and she did a great job.

I went home straight away after thatt . As soon as I reached home , talked to Mum and Sister about my day. Sister was sick :( get well yo . I slept like a pig till 7pm . Paitao Syafika for not coming down to lepak. Sorry! So tired lahh. I bathe right after I woke up and switch on the computer . Log in to Facebook and snatch photos from Malaii' s profile . Huhuuu :D

Birthday boy :D

2009-07-22T03:59:00.000-07:00

Nama saya Amaliah
Saya jual keropok dan halia
Saya selalu datang rumah orang malam-malam
Tetapi pontianak saya yang memberi salam

Keropok saya bau bacen dan masam
Macam Khabir, suka makan asam
Saya dari Woodlands ke Bedok
Selalu lompat-lompat macam kodok

Ramai orang tak nak beli keropok saya
Tuh pasal saya tak boleh jadi kaya
Saya suka sampuk orang
Ia membuat hidup orang tak senang

Dengar-dengar saya wanted sekarang
Kalau orang tangkap saya, saya serang dengan parang
Saya masih di Singapura
Ingat! Saya akan buat kamu semua huru-hara :D

Thatt is the pantun that Syafika and myself did during our boring periods in class . We get those ideas straight away during history class when both of us started to talk about the nenek tua that haunted everyone right now . Heard the news or not arhh ? About the nenek tua yang bawak kak pon behind her back . The nenek tua will knock on your door late at night selling crackers . According to some people , her crackers smelled awful . If you don't want to buy her crackers , she will cast a spell on you , using her kak pon .

Well, afterall thatt's just came from word of mouth . So, we can't totally believe it lahh . Heh . I had a great day today . The class did nothing much. In fact , nothing at all ? Hah. School ends at 1pm today due to the Listening Comprehension Major Exam . Went home early today . But Khabir and Syafika followed me home and lepak at my house . We cracked a lot of jokes mannye! :D We talked about bapoks and mats and minahs zaman sekarang .

Then, after so long, we decided to prank people . But all failed :( especially when we pranked Haidar . He get so angry till his grandmother called us . I was like wtf ? Can't take jokes , is it ?! Semua dah chol sakk when he started to let his anger to us. We're so sorry, we don't even know that you're studying . Since then , we stopped prank calling people . Takot pulak orang laen marah . Huahs :D

I cannot wait for tomorrow :)) ! I am so gonna wear my punjabi suit . Justt that I don't know whatt hairstyle that should go with it. Hahs . Most of my friends are wearing cheongsam . Only me & khabir that is wearing other costumes besides chinese and malay . I hope tomorrow will be a good day :]

I want to meet you . I want to talk to you . I want to love you like the way I use to last time . I want to be always be beside you . I want to joke around with you . I want to bongkar your bag again . I want to make you happy . I want to make you sad . I want to make you angry . I want to hang out with you again . I want to go shopping with you again . I want the old us .

2009-07-21T05:22:00.000-07:00

I justt reached home . Justt came back from shopping for my Punjabi that I'm gonna wear on Racial Harmony Day . Thanks yaw Mum and Dad for buying the Punjabi dress and the Adidas Perfume for me :) love both of youu . Yehps, bought Adidas Floral Dream perfume . The green colour one . I searched for Beckham Signature For Her , but no where to be seen . Nehhmind.

All the wayy, since morning , no . Since yesterday night I've been thinking about some shitx . It justt can't get off my mind. Its damn sickening larh. I shouldn't have known youu . I shouldn't have fallen for you at the first place . I didn't know your true colours back then. But now , its clearly shown. I wish you were never even once mine . Now, how the hell am I suppose to get rid of you ?

I regretted for letting you messaging my girlfriend. I made a stupid choice . I thought I wanted to see how far you can go . But it seems that I ended up suffering . I am not like other girls ; If I love someone , I will not like try my best to get him. Its true that some people said , If you love somebody , you never give up. Sorry, I am not like thatt. I don't know why but I just don't like it thatt way. But , I still don't wish to lose you .

Maybe I should let you go and move on .

Mr Toh is leaving soon . I am going to miss him. He is a great teacher . Here's some pichas taken few days ago . Enjoy readers .

I live my life , I'll try .

2009-07-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

My thoughts on 100509.

It has been sometime since I write something, isn't ? I've been so busy these few days. It is the exam week. So, you'll surely be expecting me to study and have no time for other stuffs. I really wanted to pass this time round. At least , just fail Science. I really hoped to pass the other subjects. I just need to work extra harder. However, sometimes I realised that I had lack of time to squeeze everything inside my small brain. No, I can do it! :)

Things are better now. However, when things nearly get better, another problem appear. Fuck life. I don't blame fully on fate because I am the one who make the mess. I think. Haishh, I don't know why but I just don't wish to be in a relationship especially during this critical time. I got to concentrate in my studies and pass the mid-year examinations. I so have no time for relationship now. By the way, I am tired and lazy to be in one.

Why ? Cause when you're in a relationship, there's definitely a fight and I am tired to argue. Good thing I am not like before. I used to bastard other guys, ya know. Well, I can get back to my old habits again. But I just wish not to do break another heart.

I've tried controlling my anger that night. I managed to control, but I did let out some. Just that I didn't show. I went straight away to sleep, ignoring the messages that I received. Hack care lah. The more I entertain the shitx he's been sending me , the more darah aku up. I switched off my phone to avoid disturbance. I had a nice sleep that night but when I woke up and switch on my phone, the messages irritates me again. I ignore them again. Oh my ass, how could this been happening ?

Whatever lah okay. I know who I am and what's best for me. I won't be entertaining messages for the time being until exams are over. But that also depends on my prepaid.
I miss going out at night. I want to have that fun again. Rindu gyler shiul.

Hmm... Yesterday I had an awesome treat :) thanks to Rahmat that brought all those stuffs to home. We had Chocolate Fondue, Ice-cream and strawberries. Sedap gyler kebabian !! Thanks a lot and wish you and my sister will last forever forever forever . Now everyone been in a relationship, when is my turn ? Hahah. No, I ain't despo okay. If I'm despo , I would have already take one of the guys that always contact me. But I am not. I want to stay faithful to Boy. I believe that I will found another one while waiting for him. I hope. But again, I am not despo!

2009-07-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

When you miss or love someone , you don't just say , you show it too.

I really had a fun time yesterday . But it was not fun when it reaches night time . I went home at around 12.00midnight . Yeah, so I had a little quarrel with mum in the middle of the night . She actually sulk in the middle of the night and went out don't know go where without bringing her handphone . I was worry sick and dad went out to search for her . At last, she's back and didn't utter a word. I wrote her a letter and put it at her dressing table .

I don't wish to talk about it anymore . Alright . So, yesterday I went out to Changi Salvation Army with Syafika and Humairah. We went there to search for Cheongsam that they wanted to wear on Racial Harmony Day. We met each other at Tampines Interchange. Humairah was latee :D nehhmind . Then we walked around the malls and ate at Long John Silver .

After eating, we head straight to Changi . Board 67 and dropped off at Syafika's house then transfer to take bus number 2 . At first, we had trouble finding the right Cheongsam because most of it were expensive and their budget was below $10 . Finally, after spending an hour there , they at last found what they wanted. Humairah bought the most things for only $10 ! I like the two bags that she bought for $1 and another $5 only . Damn!

We go back to Bedok Interchange which after that we went our separate ways . Both of the girls went home while I went to Pasir Ris to fetch Danny. Sial shiol . He make me wait for almost an hour . Macam stupid girl sial me . At last he came , muker slamber . Macam nak kena smackthatt siakk . Abeh asal ehh ? Thenn, I accompanied him go eating at Burger King.

Took the train to City Hall to meet Waty and the rest . There's like no one in the train when usually it suppose to be so many people . I did camwhoring in the train and joke around with Danny . Hahs . We went to Marina Square first because Danny wanted to search for a wallet and bangles . At last , he only managed to find bangles and bought me one. Thank you very much, dude! :D worth walking and following his fast speed . gags .

Went Esplanade and we're so on time! On time for the fireworks to spark up and exploding in the sky. Saw Muhammad Fahmi Bin Haron there! Gawd, i miss him so mucchh. He looked different with the new hair . The fireworks are fantastic mampos . Abeh asal ehh ? Hah. Danny joined Fahmi then . While me and my friends hanged out at the Singapore River . Such a wonderful view . I really had a lot of things in mind that time .

I talked to Waty a lot . Suddenly Anas called Hafidz . I rinduu shiol nie budak tekong! Datang balek ahh! Crapped with him on the phone . Suddenly, Fazil called my phone . He told me to call back but too bad, right after his call , my batt died . Lastly, took bus 32 and go back .

I opened my right lip piercing . It doesn't look nice on it. But credits to Niniie Hershey that pierced it for me :D

2009-07-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

My thoughts on 300409.

Okay, clearly, I am stress. I easily get stress. Especially when exams are near. I don't know how to relax myself. Plus, with my mum keeps on blabbing and nagging at home, I never get a peaceful time. I am so tired , get it ? Tired of being scolded and being nagged on. Teachers at school are already checking an eye on me. From my hair, to my ear, as well as my attendance at school. Why do I always get caught when there's actually other people in my class that behaves more daring than me ?

Seriously, I felt like bursting into tears just now. I had a bad headache after school. Its all due to the weather and also what makes it worse was the fire drill practise. Idiot school. Too bad I had to say this aye ? But they get us to assemble at the field, mind you, at around 12.30pm. Like fucking hell lah. The weather was extremely hot and I'm having headache. I am sure there's other people that are facing headache even before the fire drill starts. We got to assemble at the field for almost an hour. Crazy shitx! What are they thinking ? Doing a sun tanning session for the school ?

Like I said, I felt like crying. It is because things change right now. Its not like before. I think, the problem is that its within myself. I make and see things differently. Honestly, I don't know what's going on. Its hard to differentiate the happy times and the bad times. I've been on a moody mood this whole week. There's a lot to think about. About studies, about mum keeps on nagging and about my love life. I am tired of thinking all these. I need a break. But I can't start now. Exams are near. My mum , herself , don't allow me to go out with friends. I am feeling so frustrated now ok !

My mum had been nagging and nagging and nagging continuosly, around the clock, 24/7 . I hate it. My ears are like tearing apart and bleeding, you know. Why did she suddenly become like this eh ? Out of the blue, she started to love to nag. She wasn't like this before. Sometimes, I felt like locking myself up in the room and have a peaceful time for myself. But she's my one and only mum. I didn't have the heart to go against her. Even if I dare to do so. All I need is to endure.

Next thing about my life. I started to hate that boy now. I hated him because he makes me tired too. I kept on thinking about him and hoping that he'll be mine. But I think the day will never come. To me, he's a bastard. If you hate me or don't like me, then just say it straight now. Don't make me wait for you and in the end, you tell the truth. Its wasting my time as well as it'll hurts more. I just gotta forget about him. One thing I realised, we can never be together. We are never meant to be. Our hearts are so different from each other. He's more serious in work while I'm a playful girl.

I forgave him for not being friendly towards me. Maybe there's some reason why he behaves that way. Like he said, smiling and me and saying hi to me is not necessary. Well, if you think that way, then be it. Ignore me. For the rest of the year that we'll be staying in the same school. You go your way, I go my way. I'll treat it that you've changed school or something that makes me that you're not in Pyss anymore. But I just can't accept the fact that he interfered my privacy. That comic was supposed to be kept private and secret among me and haslinda. Unfortunately, he saw it and he knows what I'm thinking. Fuck hell lah. I am not angry at him. Just that , he upsets me a total lot. In the first place, why must I fall for him ?

Grrrr. If only, he was reading this and feels what I'm feeling....

2009-07-16T00:11:00.000-07:00

My thoughts on 270409.

I love my parents. No matter how bad I insult them in my previous days, they are still the best. They always know how to cheer me up. Remember at one time when I said that they are being unfair ? I think they sense that I am feeling frustrated as I can't go out. So, what they did is they bring me out. All I want is a family-day out. That's all. They granted my wish. We went out to shop. Then, surprisingly, my Dad wanted to watch a movie. So, we all went to catch Jangan Tegur in the theatre. It was a complicated story. However, Jangan Pandang Belakang was much scary and better.

I had a tough day today. I was expecting a dull situation for today. Monday was always a dull day to me. First period was Mother Tongue and we went through homework. I was telling the story of Jangan Tegur to Linda. I don't think I did a good story tellling. Well, what do you expect ? I don't even understand the story well. Next period was English. I was kinda panic because I didn't do Summary Writing that consists of 20 marks! Fortunately, Mdm Lim didn't collect our homework. So, I had an extra day to finish my Summary. Recess was a bore. Other than eating, we did nothing much.

Art was awesome :) Miss Loke didn't attend school and so a relief teacher came in. His name was Mr. Ali. Me and Syafika came in like 5 minutes late for Art. But as soon as we reached, the class was standing up with the lights all closed and doing some breathing in and out exercise. It was damn funny. My class looks so absurd. I swear :D the teacher told us ghost stories and even let us watched the video Ghost Rider. But only a part of it. He was a hilarious teacher as his actions are over acting. The ghost story that he told us was true. It happened 30 years back. I was really concentrating on what he's telling. Haha. While Linda was on the floor, sleeping. She had a headache, I guess.

F&N shucks , got it ? We did practical work. I thought it would be a fun period. But since that fat teacher that took over, I hate it. But generally, I hate cooking. It waste a lot of time, to my opinion. I almost fought with the teacher. I don't know why nowadays I've been rude to teachers. I don't want bad conducts :( I must and need to be a better person! We cooked Chicken Rice and my food turns out not bad for a beginner. But the vegetables are eeeww. It was like not cooked! Note down , the vegetables, I didn't cook it. I only handle the chicken and the rice. So, its not my fault if the vegetables turns out awful.

After school, I hanged out at the canteen with Khabir, Santi, Affieyan and Natasha. Zizi only joined us for a while. Boy was there. Sadly, he seems to ignore me to the max. What's wrong sial. Okeyy, then I crapped with Affieyan. Its been a while we didn't talked a lot. We discussed about lots of things. Then at last, we decided to go to bbt . Yan was there too. He was like an emoshitx. Hey, in every relationship, you'll definitely have problems. But if you still love her, then just close one eye. Infact, she said sorry already....

I reached home at about 5.30pm. It was a hot day today. So, I decided to go to sleep. I woke up around 7.15pm. Went for bathing then straight away study. Exams are on the way. I am scared. I need a tutor :D

2009-07-14T05:26:00.001-07:00

My thoughts on 260407

I am stress. Very stress. I can't accept the fact that exams are nearby. I can't accept the fact that I can't use the internet at home anymore and worse still , I am using prepaid now. How awful you see. Things are not going smoothly anymore. My mum has been keeping all my money. Hey, its my money. So, give me my money as and when I like lah. But this, no. I asked for money but she refused to give me. I am so fed up right now!

I've been studying all these while. I've been a good girl for a week or so. I stopped skipping classes as well as school. Better still, I concentrate in classes and stopped day dreaming. Even if I think there's nothing much to do, I studied and revised my work. I made an effort to become a good girl. However, being someone good isn't an easy thing. Especially when problems started to build. Holyshitx! How could this happen ? I used to have my blogger.com to release my thoughts and feelings to the world. But now, there's no one that can hear my cries. Message people ? Come on , I'm using prepaid and I have to try my very best to save it till the next month.

I felt that my mum is being so unfair. She let my sister go out. But she don't allow me to. I asked my mother for money but she didn't give me. Chibai lah! Next thing, its been 2 years I've been using the same handphone , Nokia 5700. Even my student plan is over. Its time to change handphone. So far, I never complained of using the same handphone. Until it reaches exactly 2 years, then I started bugging my parents over buying a new handphone. You see, my sister gets a new handphone even though its only been a few months she uses another handphone. Then, she asked my mum for a new handphone. And apparently, she gets one. But me, I've been taking good care of my 2 years handphone till its now , gone case already. When I asked for a new phone, she told me to wait and she said she'll look at my results first. Fucckk ahr.

I mean, she wanted to see my End Of Year results! I have to use that old same handphone for like another year ? Gosh, I can't take it anymore. I can't even do my homework and haisshhh. I am speechless now. I don't know how to describe how frustrated I felt. I can't complained this to my mum because definitely, she ignored me and say nothing much. My friends ? They can be depend on but I don't want to be a burden to them. So you see, without my blogger.com , I am nothing. I felt depressed. Even after letting out my feelings to this Document Wordpad, the feeling won't change.

I don't understand people nowadays. Why must this world be so complicated ? Yeah I know, in life there's definitely the ups and downs. But in my life, why does it always happen when its coming to something important ? My exams is like coming in a few days time and I'm in this condition. I need a break . But my mum ain't giving me :( I want to skip school tomorrow. But who can I call to accompany me ? Things are just getting worse. I am going dowwwnn...